


I've Fallen too Hard to Take it Back (So Can't We Work this Out?)

by Not_So_Typical_Girl



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Adoption, Cheating (But only in the beginning!), Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Dates, Fluff, Foreplay, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Light Smut in one chapter, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reader is Dadsona, Sharing a Bed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 42,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21557419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Typical_Girl/pseuds/Not_So_Typical_Girl
Summary: Joseph Christiansen left you (Dadsona) to go back to Mary, taking your heart with him as he walked away. Even though months pass, you are unable to move on, not even a little bit. However what you don't know is that you hold half of Joseph's heart, the other half lying with Mary. Joseph can't seem to stay away from you, eventually getting you alone and starting a romantic relationship with you behind Mary's back. However, Mary does find out about you two seeing one another, but is surprisingly more open to it than you expected. Read as your Dadsona's relationship with Joseph grows, their lives merging together.Or,A series of snippets that follow a uniform plotline of Joseph, Dadsona and Mary. A (rather late) fix-it fic of the sorts for Joseph Christiansen.
Relationships: Amanda & Dadsona (Dream Daddy), Craig Cahn & Dadsona, Joseph Christiansen/Dadsona, Joseph Christiansen/Mary Christiansen, Joseph Christiansen/Reader, Mary Christiansen & Dadsona, Mary Christiansen/Joseph Christiansen/Dadsona
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	1. First Steps to Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! First of all, thanks for your interest in this fic. There's a few things I'd like to mention.  
> Number one, this fic will have four chapters, each being about 10,000 words. I've already finished writing it, I'm just tying up the ending now. I will be publishing a new chapter every week, it should be completed before December 20th hits. This was intended to be a oneshot but it spun out of control. I started it in early September and now it's almost December. The finished product might be over 40,000 words. For me, this is a monster of a fic but it's also my baby.  
> Number two, the final scene of this chapter may be just a bit triggering for some people. Basically, a man comes to hit on dadsona, dadsona is not into it so it kind of turns into a non-con attempt but it doesn't get physical at all, help immediately comes to your character and everything turns out just fine. I didn't think it was enough to mark it as a warning on this fic but I am mentioning it just in case.  
> Thanks! Happy Reading :)

Joseph stepped into his backyard, preparing to fire up his grill. As he went towards it, his ears picked up on music from his neighbor (Dadsona Name)'s backyard. Soft singing accompanied whatever song was playing, one that clearly belonged to a male, so it couldn't be Amanda. The blonde man felt a pang in his chest, pulling him towards you; a feeling that he had always felt around you, one that only grew more intense when he had left you a month ago.

As he got closer, he could make out the words of what you were singing. He ducked down, kneeling against the fence so you wouldn't be able to see him.

" _Our love has gone cold, you're intertwining your soul with somebody else... I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else."_ Joseph looked through the fence carefully, watching you. You were sat on the ground, working on patio furniture. He couldn't stop a small smile from naturally rising on his face when he noticed you were moving to the music.

You were singing softly, clearly not wanting anybody to hear you, but he still could. He picked out a slightly sad tone from your voice. " _I don't want your body, but I'm picturing your body with somebody else._ "

The smile quickly fell from the blonde's face. The lyrics were somewhat fitting to the situation he shared with you. He had seen you since your break-up---could he call it that? It was less you breaking up and more him dumping you, but… He'd seen you since that day, how could he not? You were neighbors. It wasn't like he was going to stop attending neighbor's outings or withhold invitations from you for his barbecues and poker nights. Honestly, he'd tried to keep up at least a friendship with you, but it hadn't worked out for the best yet. After he broke the news to you, he had waited a week before reaching out to you. He hadn't seen you outside much, so he shot a text to you, asking if you were still interested in seeing a movie like you'd mentioned before, as friends. He'd shot two other messages to you to try to check in when you didn't read the first one. You didn't read any of them, so he'd gone to your door. 

_The clean-cut blonde waited anxiously outside the door once he'd knocked, hoping you were okay. After a moment, the door hesitantly swung open. You looked a little down, tired, but alright. However when you saw him, your face paled. Joseph felt sick to his stomach seeing your distress, but he also couldn't help himself from breathing a sigh of relief. You were physically okay. "Hey." He starts as you stand at the door, clearly uncomfortable._

_"... Hi." You respond slowly, eyes looking anywhere but at him as you shift your stance. There’s a slight pause, silence hanging heavy in the air. "Um. Do you need something?"_

_Joseph doesn't know how to respond to the question, so he just skips over it. "I... You haven't seen the texts I've sent. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."_

_"Oh." Is all you say, trying not to lock your gaze with his. Just seeing him hurt._

_"I asked if you still wanted to go see a movie, like you'd asked." He'd said, knowing you hadn't seen the message._

_You shake your head. "Joseph, I… I can't. Just... not right now, okay?"_

_He could tell that you didn't mean that you were busy. It meant that you felt that you couldn't hang out with him. "... Why not? I know things got a little... weird. But we can still be friends!" He tries. He doesn't want to lose you. Not completely._

_You just shake your head again before chuckling. But it was a dark and bitter sound as you finally meet his eyes. "Friends don't have feelings for friends. I know now that you don’t feel the same as I do, and… that’s okay.” Your voice became more shaky as you said the end of the sentence. “But I need time. You should probably be getting home to Mary, anyway. If for some reason you still want me around later, maybe then I can handle keeping things platonic.”_

_That stung. Joseph knew he probably deserved it. But it did sting. “Okay.” He uttered, trying to keep his voice level. Part of him felt even worse now, knowing that you believed he didn’t feel anything romantic towards you. In all honesty, he just wanted to pull you close, whisper apologies and tell the truth. But how was he supposed to do that now? He’d chosen his wife as he loved her, and he had to stick with it._

Now almost every time he saw you, you were with somebody else. Usually Craig. From Joseph's understanding, you two were still only friends. But that didn't stop the jealousy from swirling in his gut--- which wasn't right. He shouldn't feel like this when he was the one who left you to go back to his wife. He did what he always does. But he couldn't deny the fact that he had feelings for you, ones that refused to go away.

You were never alone. You always entered the party with someone else--- again, usually Craig. Craig was always at your side. He was at your side a lot even before everything went down between you two, but now it seemed whenever the blonde was present, Craig hovered by your side. Actually, when he'd left you on that bench, Joseph saw Craig make his way to you only a short time after.

The blonde had picked up on what he'd asked you. "Dude... are you okay?"

You had let out a halfhearted shrug, mumbling, "Yeah, I'm fine"--- which Joseph and Craig both knew was bullshit. But as usual, the blonde ignored the pain he caused. But he'd seen Craig wrapping an arm around you to hug you, comforting you. The fit man had known what you'd been up too, but he never judged you for it. Deep down Joseph admitted Craig would likely be good for you, he’d treat you right. Better than the blonde did, but that truth did nothing to eliminate the distaste he felt.

So now he was always by your side. As if he was trying to protect you. Like a good 'friend'.

Even when he wasn't, you seemed to do anything in your power to avoid Joseph. You were pushing him as far away as possible, not that he blamed you. In the small amounts of time he managed to get you alone, he'd try to strike up conversation. But you weren't really into it. Most of your replies were short and choppy, or spoken softly. You would barely meet his eyes, and when you did, it was only for a short moment. It was apparent that he'd hurt you more than he'd thought, but at this point Joseph couldn't tell if you were angry at him or scared of him. He hoped for the former, being angry with him was far less negative in his eyes than being fearful of him.

You always left with somebody else, too.

He tuned back into what was in front of him.

"I _start to believe in anything you're saying, I'm reminded that I should be getting over it. I don't want_ \---- Shit!"

Your singing cut off as you jerked your hand back. The blonde caught sight of a crimson liquid welling up in your hand. You'd cut yourself.

You popped up from the ground, stepping over to your first-aid kit. You must have been anticipating the possibility of a cut. With your good hand, you grasped at a roll of gauze, unraveling it. You tried to wrap it around your hand with the other, but the effort was rather futile.

Joseph could tell you were going to have a very hard time getting it done yourself. He stood up from his hiding spot, trying to look as if he hadn't been there the whole time. "Need help?" He quietly called.

He watched as you immediately tensed at the sound of his voice. "I... I don't know." Your voice carried a wary, strained tone.

"Sorry. I just... I heard you swear, I thought something might be wrong. It's no trouble... I can have that wrapped up in only a minute."

You paused to take a breath. "Okay."

He recognized that as an 'okay, please come help', instead of acceptance for his explanation. Although it might've been both.

Without wasting any time, he slipped through the gate into your yard and made his way to you. You wouldn't look at him. It hurt, but he couldn't be angry.

"Can I take your hand?" He asked gently. You didn't say anything, but you did reach out your wounded hand with the gauze.

He set to work, trying to talk to you at the same time. Joseph wasn’t giving up on you. He knew he couldn’t have you as a partner, but he could still have you in his life if he was careful about it. He kept his voice soft and low. "Is Amanda not home?"

You shook your head. "No. She's hanging out with Carmensita and Daisy."

"She's a good kid, it's nice to see her going out of her way to be so kind to all the younger kids. She'll be headed to college soon, won't she?" He asked, just trying to keep conversation up. This is the first time he's properly spoken to you in a month. He wasn't going to waste it.

You paused, still looking down at your wounded hand. "... Yeah."

Joseph let out a hum, working in silence for a few seconds while he scrounged his mind for conversation. The song you had been singing was still playing. "What song is this?" He asked. He'd want to hear you sing again, but knew it was an unlikely feat.

"Oh. It's called Somebody Else by the 1975. It's..." You hesitate to say the next part, not wanting to open up. "It's one of my favorites right now."

Joseph hums again. "I like it."

The blonde felt a small tremor go through your arm. He was concerned but put it aside. He was finishing up the bandaging now anyway. He pulled it tight carefully, reluctantly letting go of your hand. "All set." He says, feeling rather choked.

Finally, you look up at him. He was a little startled to notice unshed tears at your eyes. "Thanks, Joseph."

He heard the breakage in your voice. He couldn't tell you how much he wanted to stay, but he knew you were at your limit with him at the moment. At least you hadn't immediately pushed him away. He couldn't stop himself from saying, "anytime" and placing a hand on your shoulder as he walked away.

Later, when he couldn't sleep, he'd placed in his earbuds, searching: "Somebody Else", the image of you popping up behind his eyelids.

\----------------------------

(D/N) sat in their backyard, soaking up the last days of summer sun while trying to keep their sniffles and sobs to a minimum. You had just got back from dropping their daughter, Amanda off at college. You’d known it was going to hurt, but you didn't realize just how much until they came back into that empty house. You had broken down when they heard the silence.

So there you sat, crying, face towards the sun while depressing songs played. You know you must feel the pain completely so it can subside. This sucked, though. You knew you weren't alone; you have wonderful neighbors who were becoming like family, among them your best friend Craig. But you couldn't help but feel alone. Your partner had passed away almost nine years ago, you had never found another who wanted to stay, and now your daughter had moved out.

As your mind was racing, your neighbor Joseph had heard sniffling over your music. He knew it was you crying, and couldn't help but feel bad. He had lead you on two and a half months ago, but he hadn't been honest with you, either. His feelings for you had never diminished. Never faded despite the time that’d gone by.

This being said, he just had to know if you were okay, he wasn’t able to just ignore it. He walked over to the fence and peered over, seeing you in a pretty bad condition. The blonde dad felt a tug at his chest, so he called out to you. "Hey, (D/N)... are you okay?"

You bristle at hearing Joseph's voice. Oh, great, this guy. The one you fell _hard_ for before he left you to go back to his wife. Another fuck-up on your part, and your heart still hadn't recovered from it. This was going to be awkward, you haven't really talked to him alone since he left you at Amanda's graduation party, other than those weird times when he’d shown up on your porch, and when you'd cut yourself. You avoided him when you could, but it was hard when you shared the same group of friends. You usually stuck by Craig's side, or joined Damien and Hugo in their conversations.

Part of you wants to viciously wipe away the tears that were taking residence on your face, not wanting to look weak, but it'd be pointless. He had clearly already seen them.

Opening your eyes reluctantly, you took sight of him and your heart froze up in your chest before beating twice as fast. Right, this still happened every time you saw him. The picture-perfect dad had the nerve to be staring at you with a concerned expression. Maybe you should move out of the cul-de-sac. You sighed. "Yeah, fine. Just having a hard day."

You had hoped that would satisfy him, but it didn't. He pressed. "What happened?"

You nearly snapped at him, but you bit your tongue. It was okay. Just a 'friend' looking out for another 'friend'. You looked away from him. "I came home from dropping Amanda off at college today. Coming back to an empty house was... harder than I anticipated."

"Oh... (D/N), I'm so sorry." Joseph told you softly.

"It's...you know." You waved a hand in dismissal, trying to hurry the conversation along. You didn't need him looking at you like that. Bringing your knees up to your chest, you said: "every kid grows up eventually." You knew it was the truth, but it still hurt.

Joseph moved from his part of the fence to the gate that you for some reason shared. Your gaze flicked to him, tracking his movement. "Can I come in?"

You felt your stomach lurch, and you wanted to tell him no. But then you'd have to come up with a reason, you couldn’t just bluntly say “no”, but you weren't about to tell him you still had feelings for him. No way in hell would you tell him that. Quite frankly, you didn't have any fight left in you. It couldn't be that bad.

You let out another sigh. "If you want."

And with that, your blonde neighbor opened the gate, stepping into your backyard.

He made his way to you, frowning upon seeing only one lawn-chair. "Do you want to move to the bench so we can talk?"

You felt cold creeping down your back. That bench was the bench you had sat on together when he had left you. But then, Joseph stretched out his hand to you. It seemed like you couldn't say no. Defeated, you (confusedly) took his hand and let him pull you up. He did so with ease. You hadn't forgotten how strong he was.

He led you to said bench, never letting go of your hand. He sat you down carefully, letting go of your hand, before taking the seat next to you. Silence. Yup, this was awkward.

Then he took your hand _again,_ threading your fingers together. That was seriously unnecessary. Your heart and throat meet yet again. "Talk to me, (D/N), tell me what's on your mind."

Your brain whispered that trusting him again was a very, very bad idea, but your emotions told you to go for it. It didn’t mean anything. You still couldn't look at him, your gaze finding the grass before you more interesting than it ever had before. You swallowed, deciding to just get on with it. "I knew this day was coming, and I knew it was going to hurt. I'm proud of Amanda, don't get me wrong, and I'm so happy for her. I know I'm not alone--- I will always have her in my life, I have these great neighbors who have become my close friends, almost like family." The hand that is holding yours squeezes. The tears prick at your eyes again and it's not long before they start falling. "But coming home to that empty house... it's a hard pill to swallow. My daughter no longer lives here, I've got no pets, and no partner. Except for me, this house is empty. And that's exactly how I feel right now---empty."

The hand that is holding yours tugs you suddenly into Joseph, who sweeps you closer to him in an embrace. Your breath cuts off completely. This wasn't fair, who said he could do this? But you don't fight him. A hand rubs at your back comfortingly while you try to suppress sobs. The blonde dad picks up on it, whispering into your ears: "It's okay. You don't have to hold it in."

After a few moments, you feel yourself sinking down against Joseph. This was a bad idea. You knew this was a bad idea, but in the moment of weakness, you let yourself have this. He leans back against the cherry-tree to better accommodate you, even going as far as slipping an arm beneath your legs to bring them into his lap so that you were curled completely against him. One arm was wrapped around your waist, while the other arm was slung in front of you to hold you in place, hand gently grasping you by the hip. Joseph presses a gentle kiss on the top of your head, one that made your heart ache. What the hell was he doing? What the hell were _you_ doing?

You hadn't properly spoken with this man alone in two months. The last time you'd spoken in private was on this very bench, where he left you because he was going back to his wife. Now, you were on the same bench, _cuddling_ in your backyard. All Mary had to do was look over the fence and an explosion would easily occur because of a misunderstanding.

"Mary." You choked out. It was muffled due to chest muscles. The hand that was stationed at the small of your back rubbed small circles. "She's not home. I'll hear her car if she does come home."

You were conflicted. "Why are you doing this?" You dared to ask.

Joseph was quiet for a moment. His voice was gentle and soft when he spoke again. "I know we didn't wind up together but... I never stopped caring for you."

You froze. What did that even mean? You looked up at him confused, but instead of going more into detail, he bent his head down at an awkward angle, successfully connecting your lips in a tentative kiss. You were horrified to find yourself kissing him back. Why couldn’t you bring yourself to fight this?

After a moment he pulled back but his hand found your cheek, thumb brushing it in a caress. You pushed yourself up, a voice in your head crying out: ' _Don't. Don't do this to Mary. Don't do this to yourself.'_

"I don't understand." You tell him.

Joseph looked as if he was about to say something before he looked around. "I uh... let's go inside to talk."

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

You had gone inside with Joseph, against your better judgment, taking a seat on the couch.

"I assume you want answers." He started carefully.

You nodded. "That would be nice, yeah. Whatever this is that you’re doing… Don't lie to me about it." Your ending words came off as rather snappish. Joseph looked almost hurt, and you would feel bad, but then you remember what was happening.

"I... Okay. So I'm married, that's a fact. We struggle, but I love my wife." He started. It stung you, even though you knew it was fact, but why was he doing this? Why would he lead you on, just to toss you away, then come back again? "But I can't... I can't shake what I feel for you. I know what I did to you. I know that it was awful. I know it might not seem like it but I swear to you, I did and _do_ have feelings for you." He says, looking into your eyes and searching for any reaction for you. You felt your throat closing up and that tell-tale burning at your eyes. ' _Don't you dare cry, (D/N). Don't you dare.'_ You told yourself. It didn't help.

The blonde man sitting across from you reached out, taking your hand in his. You let him.

"I miss you. I've missed you since I left you on that bench---I can't get you out of my head. Every time I see you, at the neighborhood gatherings, when you get the mail, when you're with our other friends, I just want to reach out for you. Something about you keeps pulling me back to you. I... want to see you again." His tone was hopeful.

You were silent for a minute, feeling your heart breaking in your chest all over again. "I still don't... I can't do this again." When you see your own heartbreak reflected back in Joseph's eyes, it hurt you even more. You kept talking. "It hurt me so much when you left me, Joseph. I was left wondering if I had just been a toy for you to exploit and discard carelessly the second you got what you wanted." Joseph's facial expression switched to one of horror at the realization that you thought he had just been using you.

"I was left wondering why I wasn't enough, or if I was just something you'd regret. Everything we shared is something I will never forget, but I thought that was all just a mistake to you. I liked you so fucking much. It's been three months but I'm still not okay... I can't make the wounds even deeper." You finish, failing at trying not to cry. The waterworks had been turned on.

Joseph couldn't help himself anymore. He moved across the couch, taking you in his arms again. You felt your chest tighten again, but you settled your head into the crook of his neck anyway. A hand found itself in your hair, gingerly pulling at the strands soothingly. Joseph's voice sounded strangled when he spoke, like he was on the verge of tears himself. "I'm sorry. I'd never... I'd never think of you as a mistake. The only mistake I made was leaving you. Please... I've fallen too hard to take it back. Can't we work this thing out?"

You couldn't help yourself from holding onto him tighter. You'd been craving this for months. You'd let yourself have this, it'd be a warm memory for later, because you knew it was all lies. He'd leave you eventually. But then you felt Joseph gripping back just the same, like he felt the same thing you were.

You managed to calm down, your face now feeling sticky from the tears. He gently let go of you so he could look at you. The expression on his face was one of adoration, even though you know you looked like a mess. It made your stomach swoop anyway. ' _This is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap!'_

He leaned in, hovering by your face for a moment to give you time to back out if you wished. You didn't move an inch. But then he hesitated. "Wait."

Your stomach clenched. Here it comes. The "sorry, I decided to back out again".

But the words you expected did not come. "You and Craig... aren't you two...?"

Hearing this was a surprise. Your eyes widen. "Craig and I? No! I don't think so... Pretty sure we just see each other as friends."

The blonde blinked, clearly accepting your answer because then he went for it, kissing you again. It was more intense now, fingers grabbing at each other, one pushing forward while the other leaned back to let them.

You had spent quite a bit of time doing that, snuggled on the couch, trading kisses while Joseph whispered apologies and promises into your ears.

However, eventually he had to leave. "Mary should be coming home with the kids soon..." He said in a hesitant tone. You immediately tensed up. Joseph took notice in record-time, seeing as he was holding you in his arms. "Hey, hey." He started, rubbing at the middle space between your shoulders, trying to dissipate the tension that resided there. "I'm not gonna leave you again. I'm never gonna give you up." As if to prove his point, he pecked you on the lips again.

A hand met your cheek, thumb brushing the skin there. "Can I see you again? Soon?"

You knew you should say no, but you were already nodding to tell him yes. He broke into a bright smile at your affirmation, and you knew you couldn't take it back. You didn't want to take it back.

Sighing, he had to remove himself from you, letting go. You felt cold without him. You walked with him to the back door, hand in his.

He went to step out but stopped, turning back to you. He pulled you in for another kiss, arms snaking tightly around your waist. You fell into him, letting him wrap you up in affection.

You almost whined when you broke apart. He gave you a final kiss to the forehead. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

You could only nod. He left, only going to the house next door.

You sighed heavily as you watched him walk away.

What had you done?

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

Despite knowing the consequences, the mess that would come of it, you'd started seeing Joseph again. You hadn't had sex again, but you were spending time together romantically. He was at your place currently, a surprise visit. It had turned into a movie "date".

You had begun to doze off on the sofa by the end of the movie. You only woke up due to someone gently shaking you. You almost expected it to be Amanda, but then you remembered. She's gone to college. You open your eyes slowly to see a sleepy-looking Joseph hovering above you.

"Hey. Movie's over." He said, stating an objective fact.

You wiped pitifully at the sleep in your eyes. "Is it? What time is it?"

"I'm... not sure. But it is late. You wanna move to the bed?"

Sleeping in a bed was so much better for your back. If you stayed on the couch you'd wake up with a backache for sure, but for now you were comfortable. Your body felt heavy with sleep, so that was really discouraging you from wanting to get up.

You looked down the hall towards your bedroom and made a small noise of contempt at how far it was from you. Joseph saw your dilemma and let out a small laugh before he untangled himself from you, standing up and stretching. You nearly let out a whine, his missing warmth was a true loss for your tired self.

But then he turned to you, bending down. You were confused, and suddenly a bit more awake when he slid his arm around your back and under the crook of your knees. "Hold onto me." He instructed. So you did, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Just like that, you were lifted off the couch and were being carried into your bedroom. You got to nuzzle into the blond man's shoulder, more or less inhaling his scent. The now familiar smell of fresh laundry and vanilla.

In your bedroom, he laid you down carefully, kissing your lips once before crawling into the bed next to you. Once he was settled in, he gingerly pulled at you, making you roll over into his side. The blond man wasted no time in enveloping you in his arms, holding you tightly with a gentle kind of caring. It didn't take long before you drifted off to sleep again with a contented feeling, one tainted with conflict.

When you woke up, you were alone. You sat up, confused. Joseph had been there, the other side of the bed was mussed up, so it was clear he had slept there. But his warmth was long gone. He must have left before you woke up. It was something you were accustomed too, but it still stung.

You pawed at your nightstand, looking for your phone. It wasn't there. Right--- you had fallen asleep on the couch before Joseph had carried you to bed.

You forced yourself out of the bed to hunt for your phone. It was on the coffee table, right where you'd left it. You swiped it from the table, pressing the button to show that it was 9:30 in the morning. You also only had 30 percent of battery, and a text from Joseph.

Sighing, you unlocked it to see what it was. He had sent it at 6:33 a.m..

 **Joseph:** _Hey, sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. I didn't want to disturb you, you seemed at peace. But Mary was going to be home soon and... well. You know how it is. I hope you're not mad._ _💛_

Right. You knew how it was. Still stung though. You type a text back.

 **You:** _Yeah, I get it. Thanks for coming over._

You weren't sure why you thanked him, but you did so anyway. As you were walking to your bedroom to plug your phone in, another text from him rang in. Well, that was fast.

 **Joseph:** _Don't thank me, I wanted too. I miss you a lot when I can't see you._

You felt like crying again. This situation was shitty. You shouldn't be enabling this. Yet, you couldn't seem to stop yourself. You type out a response.

 **You:** _Yeah. Me too._

As you plug in your phone, it dings again.

 **Joseph:** _You're beautiful when you sleep, you know._

Your heart jolts in your chest.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

You lied in bed, the throbbing in your head refusing to ease. It wasn't the worst migraine you've ever had, but it was still uncomfortable. Joseph had texted you earlier, seeking your company but you'd had to turn him down due to the growing headache.

Your door slowly swung open, creaking as it did so. Behind it, stood Joseph himself. When you had told him about your migraine, he'd decided to show up anyway to take care of you. You pushed yourself up as he carefully made his way to your bed, not turning on the light because he knew it would make your head worse. "I made you tea. It's important for you to stay hydrated." His voice was achingly soft as he pushed the warm mug into your hands.

You took a sip of it tentatively--- and it was perfect. The tea was mint, your favorite. Just enough sugar and a slight bit of milk, it was hot, but not nearly hot enough to burn you.

"This is good. Thanks, Joseph." You told him, hating how croaky your voice sounded. Your eyes painfully searched him out, finding him at the other side of your bed, about to get in.

"Of course, angel." He replies steadily.

Despite the fact that your head is throbbing and you've got a mug of hot tea in your hands, you're pretty sure your face has heated up in a blush at the pet name. You slowly let yourself fall to your right, snuggling up against Joseph. The both of you sat in silence while you sipped your tea. When you hit that last sip, he spoke up again. "Done?"

You nodded against him, humming in affirmation. He took the now empty mug from your hands, placing it on the nightstand beside him. When he turned back to you, you decided to say something. "Hey, Joseph?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh. Thanks. For coming to take care of me. You didn't have too, I'm a mess and it's kind of embarrassing but you came anyway. So thank you." You really were grateful to him. He was very considerate and was taking really gentle care of you. Nursing the headache on your own would've sucked. But this was also a trap, because it was making you fall more for the blonde man.

You felt him gingerly cup your cheek. "Aw, of course. I don't like seeing you in pain." Joseph followed that sentence by applying a soft kiss to your lips. "How's your head?" He asked after you parted.

You nearly grunted. "Still hurts."

With a hum, he lied down in the bed, drawing you down with him. He laid your head on his chest while his hand was on the side of your head, massaging the temple that throbbed. The warmth his hold brought and his affectionate care was incredibly soothing, so it wasn't long before you finally drifted off to sleep. This time, he was there when you woke up in the morning.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

Your relationship with Mary was... strained, at best. You were ruining her marriage after all. That's why you jumped out of your skin when you heard her speak up behind you at a neighborhood party.

"He's happier, you know." She said from behind you.

You spun around on your barstool, heart beginning to pound. She was looking at you with a wine glass in her hand. She was speaking to you. Mary stepped up, taking a seat next to you. Oh, this was bad.

"I mean it. He's happier now that he has you." She rolls her eyes as you splutter. "Before you ask---yes, I know about you two. It's hard to miss when your husband is getting involved with your next-door neighbor."

You swallowed, not knowing what to say. Here it comes, you knew this was where you lose Joseph again. But she continued. "Normally, I would be furious. But he's been happier. He's also been better with me, believe it or not. It feels more like when we were first married than it has been for the past couple of years. When I finally asked him about you, he caved and told me everything. He looked terrified at the concept of having to choose between you or I."

You didn't understand why she was telling you this. You were scared though. But Mary didn't stop.

"Him and I… We're staying together. But things are different between us now. We had a long talk about it and... We've got four kids, we still love each other, but... well." She takes a sip of her wine, shrugging rather nonchalantly. "I think he loves you too." Your stomach dropped at the words. "It's possible, you know. To love more than one person. He's done it before, and he's doing it now." Your gaze flicked to Robert across the yard, knowing full well who she was talking about. Then you froze up for a moment. You were pretty sure Robert hated you.   
"Listen. Him and I have talked. Under all our struggles, we still love each other and we're staying together, but it's more open now. I'm not going to stop you from seeing him and if I find someone else who I'm interested in... Joseph won't have any qualms about it." Mary told you, never letting go of her wine glass.

This was not where you had been expecting this conversation to go. You still felt bad though. Mary seemed to pick up on that, because she turned to face you fully. Carefully, she reached out, placing her hand on top of yours. "Kid, it's alright. While it’s true that you shouldn't have gotten involved with my marriage... I know you didn't mean to start all this trouble. You never wanted to hurt anyone; I can see it in you. But sometimes you just can't help who you fall for. Things are actually better now with you in the picture."

You didn't know what to say to her, but you really did want to hug her at that moment. "Thanks Mary. Um. Can I hug you?"

She looked amused. "Go ahead. Bring it in."

You were careful in your hug, and she held onto you for a few moments. Then, she walked off, wine glass still in hand, to talk to Robert and Damien.

Meanwhile you stayed at the bar, making yourself a drink as you saw that you needed one after that conversation. You sipped at it, hunched over the counter as the conversation you just had replayed in your mind. It was only a few minutes before you heard someone trotting over to you, said person placing a gentle hand between your shoulder blades as they sat down. Joseph.

"Oh. Hey." You greeted, offering a small smile.

"Hey. Mary talked to you?" The blonde asked carefully, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, she did." You admitted. The hand that was by your shoulders slipped to the small of your back, comfortingly.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"Kind of weird." You admit, taking another sip from your drink.

There was a pause. "Do you... need time to think things over?" Joseph spoke. You could hear the nervous tones in his voice.

"No. I don't think so. I... I want to be with you."

You heard the blonde next to you breathe out a sigh of relief. He moved closer to you, taking his stool with him. The hand that was at your back turned into an arm that was fully wrapped around your waist, a kiss being pressed onto your neck. You sighed, laying your head on his shoulder.

"Hey. This weekend, do you wanna... go see a movie, or go out to dinner? Or both. We could do both." Joseph's voice sank into your ears like velvet.

"Hm. That sounds really nice." You respond, because it does sound nice.

You hear a light chuckle come from the blonde. "Cool. I'd say let's take the yacht out again but I'm worried we'd get stuck out in the ocean."

You can't stop yourself from biting back a smile, remembering that day well. You were glad it’s memory was no longer tainted with sadness by what followed. "It wouldn't be so bad if we did. Although a coast guard might eavesdrop." You teased.

That rises another laugh out of him. "It wouldn't be so bad, you say. What about the whales?"

Your eyes widen in mock horror. "No! Not the whales! ... You'll protect me, right?"

Joseph is full-on cackling now, trying to muffle the noise with his hand. "Yes, yes of course. Nothing's gonna harm you---not while I'm around."

You look at him in surprise, pausing. "Was that a Sweeney Todd reference?"

You catch a light smirk from Joseph that he quickly tries to hide. "Maybe, maybe not."

You settle back next to him, the other man gladly taking you in his hold. You didn't know _what_ exactlythe two of you were, but for now, you were happy. Mary's words kept ringing in your head. " _I think he loves you too."_ Was she right? You wanted to believe it, but you stopped yourself, because youwere falling in love with the man beside you. If you let yourself believe it, it'd only make it happen faster.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

For your first official date---that's what Joseph had called it--- you hadn't gone to see a movie, but you had gone out to dinner. You had spent time thoroughly trying to fluff up your hair, pick out a decent outfit. In the end, you looked about the same as you always did. There wasn't much you could do about it though because Joseph came knocking at your door.

You tried to force down the nervousness, it was unreasonable to be nervous. You'd already been intimate with him, he'd seen you cry, he'd cared for you when you were sick. Even though you knew it was ridiculous to be nervous, you still were.

You went from your bedroom to answer the door, Joseph appearing behind it as you thought he would. Upon seeing you behind the door, he lit up with a blinding smile. He looked good--- more so than usual.

"Hey." You say, smiling back. The greeting was lame but what could you say when he was taking your breath away?

"Hi." He responded, taking in your appearance. He coughed a little awkwardly when he realized he'd been staring for a little bit too long. "Um, you look good!"

You almost laughed; knowing that you really didn't look that different from normal. "Thanks, but I don't clean up nearly as well as you do."

That sparked a blush to Joseph's cheeks. "I- uh. Thanks."

His words eased a bit of the nerves tingling in your stomach. It seemed he was nervous too.

"So. Are you ready to go?" He asked after a few seconds. You tapped your pockets to make sure you had your wallet before nodding. With that, out the door you went. Joseph drove, as he was the one to plan this, while you both chatted and laughed.

You arrived in Maple Bay's downtown area, having to parallel park the car. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk together, Joseph intertwines his fingers with yours, making your stomach swoop. That's when he explained his plan. He was taking you out for a three-course meal--- at three different places. Appetizer at the first place, main dish at the second, dessert at the third. It was an interesting feat to be sure, so you played along.

At the first place, you had margaritas with the food for old times’ sake. It had started raining while you were dining at the second place, being a total downpour by the time you got out of there. You still had dessert to find, so you both ran through the rain, pulling on each other through interlocked fingers while giggling like teenagers in love. It was maybe a little ridiculous, yourself nearing 45 years of age with Joseph being almost 40, but you didn’t care.

You made it to the final restaurant, which turned out to be a cute little ice cream joint. You both got cones, a mint chocolate chip one for you, and a strawberry cone for Joseph. You weren't surprised by his choice in flavor- it was fitting, especially taking the coloring into consideration.

You sat across from each other in a booth, chatting while eating away at the sweet treat. You subconsciously watched yourself, trying not to get any ice cream on your face. You weren’t sitting on your sofa with Amanda, you were on a _date._

When you were almost done with your cone, he spoke up. "You know, part of me wants to order a milkshake to share, so we can fill that cliché quota." Joseph mulls in the lighthearted banter you share. You let out a wholehearted laugh at that one, barely managing to swallow your ice cream before doing so.

You pat at your stomach for a moment, almost self-conscious. "I'd say it sounds nice, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think my stomach has had enough food content for the evening."

The blonde across from you smiles at you, taking your hand from under the table. Despite everything that had gone on between you two, you still felt a blush rising to your cheeks. "You ready to go?" He asks you once you're finished.

You nod and he stands, taking your hand immediately after you get out of the booth. Thankfully the rain had stopped, the streets being mostly empty. It was quiet, peaceful. The only sounds were crickets, cicadas, your footsteps and your voices.

When you got into Joseph's car, he spoke up. "So, I might have lied about the ice cream shop being my last plan for the night."

Your eyebrows raise. "Oh?" You ask, prompting him to continue,

He nodded, reaching to the backseat to open a cooler that you had not noticed before. "There's an old barn a few minutes out from Maple Bay. It has a nice open field; people are never there. The view of the sky is gorgeous. I thought it'd be a nice way to end the night, if you want."

You didn't have to think about it. "That sounds fantastic, honestly. Let's go."

His face lit up at your confirmation, him throwing the car into gear to start the drive.

When you got there, it was better than you imagined. The stars shined brighter here, the sounds of nature louder. The old barn casted some light into the field as well. You vaguely wondered what it was used for, especially if the electricity was still on inside.

You both stepped out of the car, Joseph ducking in the back to grab the cooler. He brought it to the front of his car, carefully placing it on the hood before urging you to climb on top.

A single bottle of wine was plucked from the cooler, alongside two glasses. It reminded you of the night on the yacht.

Joseph was the one to pour this time, saying "We probably shouldn't drink too much, especially considering I'm driving." Then he winked at you. "But I think a little bit is okay."

You looked up at the stars while leaning back on your hands, feet dangling off the car.

"How's Amanda doing?" He asks after a couple of moments of peaceable silence pass.

You hum. "She's good! She's found a solid group of friends at her college and she loves her classes." You pause. "I miss her, though."

You hesitate before you ask the next question. "...How are things with Mary?"

"They're actually pretty good. We're doing better than we were before. I think we just... got sick of everything being the same, sick of each other--as awful as that sounds. We needed something new in our lives. And we've both found it." He was looking at you with a soft gaze of adoration when he said his last words. You took a sip of wine to hide your smile.

"I really like you, (D/N). I'm glad you've been... You've been willing to be with me despite everything else."

You face him again. "Yeah, well... I like you too. A lot. Like it's kind of worrying how much I like you. Part of me thinks you’ve put me under a spell or something." You admit, only halfway joking.

He lets out a laugh before he places his wine glass down carefully, eyes shifting back up to you. An arm opened up to you. "Come here?"

Not even hesitating, you scoot over the car's hood. You were expecting to get cuddled, but were surprised when he wrapped his arm around you, the other under you and lifted you into his lap. His arms snaked around your waist, holding you in place so you didn’t fall due to the angle.

"This okay?" He asked.

You settled, leaning back more into his lap. "Better than okay."

It turns out Joseph actually knew a bit about constellations. He whispered about them to you as he held you tightly. You wondered if he could feel your heartbeat pick up its pace. He probably could.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been out there. You sat out there for hours, probably. Eventually you shifted from sitting in his lap to laying back on the hood of the car, cradled into his side. You nearly fell asleep, warm and cozy with Joseph's hand running through your hair.

When you arrived back to your home, you thanked him for the wonderful night and agreed to do something together soon. Joseph turned to you when you went to step out of the car, stopping you in your tracks. "Hey, uh. (D/N)."

You stop, turning back to him and raising your eyebrows. "Hm?"

He seems nervous suddenly. He wasn’t like this earlier, not even at the beginning of the night. You can’t help but feel slight concern. "Okay. I don't actually know how to say it, but I want to ask. Before I do, I want to say that I already talked to Mary about it. She says it's okay, so if you say yes, you know she won't mind. There's no need for guilt. But uh--- we've been spending a lot of time together. I'm happier than I've been in a long time in your company. I can't imagine giving that up. Would you.... be my boyfriend?"

You're stunned. But before he can think you're going to say no, you reach over and grab his hand. "Joseph... I wasn't expecting to hear that tonight. But I don't even have to think. Of course I'll be your boyfriend, but only if you'll be mine."

It was true, you didn't have to think. There was, of course, a smudge of doubt in your mind, but you erased it. You knew immediately that you had made the right decision when he smiled from ear to ear. If something bad happens in the future… your future self is just going to have to deal with it.

"You've had me since I met you." Joseph breathed out, leaning over the gap between the seats to kiss your lips.

It had been one of the best nights you had in a long time.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆| - _**Slight Trigger Warning. Kind of attempted Non-Con but everything turns out to be fine! -**_

Your relationship with Mary had definitely improved. In fact, you were on better terms with her than you were before the whole thing between you and Joseph had even begun. She had loosened up, she seemed happier and less tired. She had even cut down a bit on her alcohol intake.

Almost every time you saw her now, she greeted you with a smile and a hug. She even invited you to hang out with her sometimes. Which in turn improved your relationship with Robert. He still wasn't that fond of you, but you were getting there. He’d even asked you to come hang out with him when Mary was busy, once. You’d had the feeling he just didn’t want to be by himself for the night.

You were beyond grateful for it all. Things almost seemed to be going too well.

Amanda had come to visit; she was off school for a week. It was her first night back in town, so you decided to take her out for dinner. When you were seated, you saw Joseph and Mary sitting at a booth on the other side of the room. They must be out on date night. You caught their eye, smiled and waved. You didn't get up of course, you didn't want to intrude. This was a time for them, and this was also a time for you and your daughter.

She had been telling you stories of her adventures at college, showing you plenty of pictures, while you updated her on what had been going on with you. She had excused herself to use the bathroom. You took the time to organize your thoughts, check your phone, ponder about what you two could do tonight. Maybe get ice cream cartoons and have a trash tv marathon, that was always good! That was, until a stranger decided to intrude.

"Excuse me," A deeper voice rumbled, a man coming to stand at your table. You looked up at him warily. He was buff, tall. Much larger than you were. He had tan skin and hair that was tinted blue; long, pulled up in a man-bun. He had amber eyes, which had a look of hunger in them. It was an expression that turned your stomach.

"Um. Hello." You say.

"Is this seat taken?" He more states than asks, motioning to the chair that Amanda literally just got out of.

"Yes, actually. My daughter is sitting there." You keep your tone polite, but the stranger was making you a little uncomfortable.

"Oh. Well, she's not here right now." He said gruffly, sitting down anyway. Now you got a little angry. What was this dude's deal? Before you could even open your mouth, he spoke again. "So… I can't help but notice you're not here with a partner... you a single dad?" He asks, not-so-harmlessly, leaning closer to you. You instinctively shifted back in your seat. You saw where this was going, and you knew you had to shut it down.

"Oh, no. I'm a dad, but I'm not single." You are honest there but were really hoping you wouldn't have to go into details.

The mystery man raises a thick eyebrow at you. "Not single? You’ve gotta wife?"

You shake your head. "No, no wife. I was married but my husband passed on. Today, I've got a boyfriend." Another honest answer from you.

With that, he leans even closer. "Boyfriend." He responds. "Perfect." He mutters under his breath, interest in his tone. You were pretty sure you weren't supposed to hear that. You were immensely uncomfortable now. "Where is he now, though? He just left you to be lonely?"

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, eyes flicking to Joseph. You meet his gaze instantly. Both Mary and him were already watching you, a concerned expression on their faces.

You quickly force your attention back on the mystery man before he can follow your gaze. "Of course not. He's just busy right now. Look bud, I don't know what game you’re playing at, but I can tell we're not on the same page. Sorry, but I'm not interested." You finally snap at him.

His eyebrows raised. You suddenly regret your tone, turning a bit frightened. This man could easily hurt you if he got angry. Apparently, he hadn’t expected you to spit fire. "Oh, come on. I could show you a good time!"

You were trying to keep yourself calm. "The answer is _no_. Please leave me alone. I. Am. Not. Interested."

His hand slammed on the table, causing you to flinch. He stood up, practically towering over you. You had clearly pissed him off. Your heart started pounding out of fear, your throat closing. You knew you were in danger. He opened his mouth to spit something at you when another presence came to your side.

Suddenly, a 5 foot 10’’ figure passed by you; a steady hand being placed on your shoulder. You looked up, already knowing who it was. Joseph. The gentle touch did not match his facial expression. It was dark, angry. You'd never seen it before. "Excuse me, is there a problem?" His voice was low as he said it. It contained a forced sort of calm, one with underlying anger swimming.

The man crossed his arms, unimpressed. "No. It's none of your business, anyway."

"Oh, I believe it is." Joseph shot back, more of that anger coming to the surface. "Not only are you harassing this man, but by doing so, you are harassing a very dear friend of mine. He's told you he isn't interested. So, I'm telling you too. Back. Off."

The man studied Joseph's face, then back to you, back to Joseph. Something seemingly clicking for him. His eyes widened. "Wait. You said you had a boyfriend, I didn’t think---You can't be serious. That's not... you're a pastor! You're married!"

"Yeah, but so are you, Marcus." A voice sounded behind the man, a feminine one that you recognized. _Mary._ Her voice sounded like ice. The clicking sound of her heels followed her sentence.

He spun around to face her. "Mary. You... you know about this? How are you okay with that?"

Mary raised her eyebrows at his spluttering, giving him a slow, unimpressed look. You almost smiled fondly. Mary Christiansen, a fighter who refused to take shit from anybody. "Listen, kid. Love is a thing that works in weird ways. But it's always beautiful. As long as it's healthy and consensual, it shouldn't be an issue. Our situation is our business, we’re all happy. But, speaking of consensual, what you are doing to our friend here is quite the opposite. Nevermind me and Joseph, though. It's our business, and only our business. But you... how're you okay with cheating on your husband? Go home, Marcus. Think about your life choices. I don’t ever want to catch you doing something like this again, or I will tell Isaac." Isaac was Marcus’ husband, you assumed. Poor Isaac.

  
Mary noticed his hands curling into fists. "Also, if you try to lay a hand on any of us, more than you already have, I can have the cops here or on your tail in less than five minutes. So, don't try it."

At least Marcus was smart enough to realize when he'd been defeated. He fled.

"Okay. What just happened?" Another voice piped up. Amanda's.

The brunette woman rolled her eyes. "Some idiot thought he could seduce your father, then get away with trying to force it on him but we shut him down. The situation has been diffused. You okay, sailor?" Mary asked, turning her attention to you.

You nod gratefully. "I am, thanks to you guys. If you hadn't cut in, I'm not sure where that might've gone. Nowhere good, that's for sure.” You put your head in your hands, rubbing frustratedly at your eyes. “Sorry for interrupting your night, though. I wish that hadn't happened."

Joseph's hand, which was still protectively on your shoulder, squeezed gently. "What, did you think we were just going to let something bad happen to you? You didn't ask for that idiot to come bother you. No one would. You're very important to both of us, (D/N). Neither of us would let you get hurt."

You felt something in your chest warm up. You smiled earnestly at both Joseph and Mary. "Thanks for rescuing me. You two are true life-savers."

Mary smirks while Joseph chuckles, his arm wrapping around your shoulder in a half-hug while he presses a kiss to the crown of your head. The married couple headed back to their booth, Amanda getting settled across from you again. Your heart rate was finally starting to calm, you could breathe again.

“I’m glad Mary and Joseph got here in time. Otherwise that man wouldn’t be going to jail, I’d be going to jail. No-one hurts my dad like that. But…you’re happy, huh dad?” Amanda asks suddenly, eyeing your facial expressions.

“Hm?” Oh, she was talking about what you currently had going on with Joseph. “Oh. Yeah, Panda, I am. Things are going great.”

You’d told Amanda what was going on with you and Joseph over facetime one day. You hadn’t wanted to hide it from her and she would’ve learned about it eventually anyway. You’d been sure to explain that Mary was alright with it, that you all had a weird symbiotic relationship. Amanda had felt a little strange about it at first, as she hadn’t been expecting to hear it. But she did admit that she knew back before she graduated that you’d been getting mixed up with Joseph. Your daughter still didn’t exactly trust the blonde, as she’d seen how badly he’d hurt you at first, but she trusted you and wanted you to be happy, so she supported it. You smiled thinking about it. How had you gotten such a good kid?


	2. Comfortable Development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back with the next chapter as promised. I'm not sure if any of you who've read this have liked it, but I hope you are! Kudos and comments are always appreciated by me as a writer :)  
> Reminder:  
> The mark, |☆|☆|☆|☆|☆| signifies one snippet ending/one snippet beginning.  
> Warning:  
> There is a snippet in here where your character almost drowns but turns out okay!  
> There is also a snippet in here, the final snippet here has light smut. I don't really write smut, so I didn't go into it. It was basically foreplay that I have in here, plus saying that they did bang. XD The snippet is signified by the mark |◇|◇|◇|◇|◇|. Diamonds instead of stars.  
> Two chapters, 20,000 words down! Two more chapters and 20,000 more words to go!

The time had come to tell your neighbors, the people who had become your friends about the arrangement between you, Joseph and Mary. Robert already knew as Mary had told him; Craig did too. He'd been the only one you'd told other than Amanda.

_There was the ring of a doorbell, signaling that Craig was here. You went to answer it, the smiling face of your best friend appearing behind it. You were nervous about what you had to say but seeing him there soothed your nerves. You knew, deep down, he wasn't going to judge you for this. But it was still going to be hard to tell him, especially since he was the one who had been helping you pull through all the mess that Joseph had (formerly) left behind._

_"Hey, bro! You ready to run?" You smiled back at him despite the nerves mixing in your stomach._

_"Yeah, can you come inside for a minute? I’ve got to refill my water bottle and put my shoes on." You ask._

_Your tone clearly gave something away because his expression shifted into one of concern. "Dude, are you feeling okay?"_

_"Yeah, but uh--- I have something I need to tell you. I know you've got a lot of energy right now, but would you mind sitting down to talk for a minute?" You know that you must push through this explanation. He was going to find out eventually._

_He met your request, sitting down facing you on the sofa. "What's going on?"_

_You take a deep breath. "Okay, so first off, I want to say that there's nothing wrong. So, don't worry about that. But... you know a couple of months ago, when Joseph kinda dumped me?"_

_Craig's face changed a little, but you couldn't decipher what emotion was there. "Yeah...? Did something happen with him?"_

_You bit the inside of your cheek nervously, nodding. "Yeah. But like... it's nothing bad. It's actually really beneficial, the way I see it..."_

_So, you told him the story from the day you'd came home from dropping Amanda off at Horne. How you had patched things up, then cringed, ashamed when you admitted guiltily that you'd started seeing him again behind Mary's back. But then you explained how Mary had sat down with you that day at the party, explained how it had turned into a good thing, how things could be copacetic. Told him that in layman's terms, Joseph and Mary's relationship had become more of an open one; enabling Joseph to be happily married while also being your boyfriend._

_When you'd finished, your best friend had just blinked at you, expression impossible to crack. You swallowed, breathing harshly. You really hoped he wasn't going to think of you differently because of this. There was a moment of silence before you spoke up. "Are you mad?" You hated how weak your voice sounded._

_Your words seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. Upon absorbing your question, he immediately shook his head. "Dude, no. Just... are you happy?"_

_You nod, smiling a little. "Happier than I've been in quite a while."_

_Then Craig smiles too. "I'm happy for you, then. I'm not going to judge you for your relationship choices. You can't help who you fall for... As long as you're happy, it's great."_

_Your eyes widened in disbelief. You really had over-built this up in your head. "Really?"_

_He nods. "Yeah, really, bro! Don't look so terrified."_

_He scooted across the couch, hugging you as best as he could while sitting. One arm was thrown around your waist, while the other arm had brought a hand to the back of your head. You smiled. You couldn't ask for a better friend._

Then there was telling the other guys. They were all good friends, but you still weren't sure how they'd react to this. You weren't too afraid of Damien or Mat's reaction, they seemed pretty laid back. Hugo probably wouldn't care... You were honestly most worried about Brian. While you two had cut down on the crazy competitive interactions after it was revealed that Brian thought you hated him and vice versa. You two had become proper friends with just a side of competition, but... 

You'd told Hugo and Damien first. They'd invited both of you to one of those art showcase things again, so you'd both decided to spill the news then. The best time to do so appeared when all four of you were walking home together.

Joseph was the one to bring it up. He coughed anxiously. "So uh... there's something I've been wanting to tell you guys." He said, eyes focusing on Hugo and Damien. You felt your nerves kick in.

They could tell from his tone of voice that it was something with a rather heavy weight. "Do we need to stop or can we walk and talk?" Hugo asks genuinely. Joseph shakes his head immediately. "No no, it's not like it's life or death. We can keep walking."

The group kept moving forward. "So listen, you all know Mary and I have had some problems in the past. It was obvious we weren't happy."

Damien made a noise of affirmation. "Yes, that much is true. But you two seem to be doing a lot better. Mary seems happier when I see her, and you do as well.”

Joseph nodded. "That's because we are happier. We... talked things out. Set different boundaries. Our marriage... became more open, while I've become more at peace with who I am. I no longer feel trapped. I am pansexual.... polysexual too, I suppose. While I still love my wife, I found somebody else that I love too. He's standing right next to me." 

At the mention of you, he took your hand, interlocking your fingers. You squeezed gently while analyzing the other two men's faces. You were met with silence at first, which made your anxiety go. What if they weren't as chill as you thought? "Any thoughts, guys?" You squeak.

Upon seeing your nervous expression, Damien lets out a lighthearted laugh. "Oh, dear friends. We already knew about you two."

You gasp while Joseph splutters. "Wh--- you did? That means that I poured my heart out for nothing?" The blonde asks in disbelief. 

"Well, no. Not for nothing. We were still kind of confused on your situation with Mary but... I for one am glad you trust us enough to tell us this information." Hugo says, adjusting his glasses.

You let out a sigh of relief. The four of you continued your walk home, usual banter mixed with a little bit of teasing from your friends.

When you told Brian and Mat... they basically had the same response. It looked like the entire cul-de-sac had cracked the code without either of you two knowing.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

It was towards the beginning of February, a little less than a week until Valentine’s day. For the past ten years, it had just been a day for you to remember Alex, as well as a day to do something nice for yourself and Amanda. Quite honestly, you thought Valentine’s day was overrated. You should do something nice for someone you love whenever you want, not just because a commercialized holiday demanded you did so. 

This year would likely be different, however. Honestly, you were looking forward to it. The assumption is proven by the fact that you were currently lied on the couch, pressed against your favorite well-muscled blonde. You were having a quiet evening, one dedicated to taking time to relax and de-stress. You were working on your beloved word jumbles while he read. He'd started to veer away from the adventure and detective sex novels a bit, finding he didn't want to escape from reality as much anymore. 

You hear the rumble in his chest as Joseph breaks the silence. "Valentine’s day is coming up soon." He says, kissing your forehead afterward. You hum in affirmation. "I uh... actually need to talk to you about it." 

That brings concern to your mind. You sit up half-way to look at him. "Is something wrong?" 

He immediately shakes his head to soothe your worries. "No, no. Everything's fine but... I really hope you won't be upset." 

You cock your head to the side. "What are you talking about?" 

He takes a deep breath. "Mary and I... you know we've had a rough couple of years. Now that things are finally good between us again, well. We want to spend that day together. Just us." 

"Oh." Okay, not the end of the world. A bit disappointing, yeah. It was going to be your first Valentine’s day as a couple. But you understood, it was alright. 

"But! The weekend after Valentine’s day, I'm already planning something for us! I'm all yours on Saturday." Joseph hurried to get that bit up, trying to do damage-control (which wasn't needed). 

You nod, honestly not sure what to say. "Okay, that's fine." You say, flopping back down against his side. 

"Are you sure you're not upset?" He asks, hand moving to hold you by the hip, slipping underneath your shirt to rub at your skin.

You shake your head. "I'm not. Upset, that is." 

"(D/N)---" 

"Joe, baby. Relax," you say, reaching forward to take a sip of your drink so you could think about your next words. "Is it a little disappointing? I mean, yeah. But it's not the end of the world. We aren't teenagers, I don't need a holiday to know how you feel about me. Part of our relationship is respecting the one you have outside of ours. If you and Mary want that day, you can have it. I'll just spend the day practicing self-care." You shrug. 

He let out a little groan of discontentment as he wrapped his arms around you fully, letting his head drop into your shoulder. You giggle just a little, turning your head at an awkward angle to kiss his nose. 

\---------

Valentine’s day did roll around, and when it did, you were doing just as you said you would. Treating yourself to a day of things that made you happy. You had a video call with Amanda in the mid-morning, did a whole onslaught of word jumbles, baked a pie without burning the house down, had your favorite music playing all through the house. Now it was about 5 p.m. and you were sinking down into a hot bath. 

This was self-care at its finest. And then there was a series of pounding knocks at your door. You groaned in contempt. Who could possibly be at your door right now? Worst timing ever. You stayed in the water for a moment, hoping that whoever it was would get the hint and leave. Unfortunately, they didn't, the incessant knocking refused to cease. 

Sighing, you pushed yourself out of the water, quickly wrapping yourself up in a robe. You trailed water through the house, getting ready to yell at whoever was there. You only opened the door enough to get your head out as you didn't want a stranger seeing you in your bathrobe. However, just as you opened your mouth to say something, you snapped it closed. Joseph was standing at the door, a bouquet of flowers in his arms. 

"Hey, Joseph?" You ask more than say. You were confused as to what he was doing on your doorstep. 

"Hi. I know you probably weren't expecting to see me today, and I only have a moment or two, but I wanted to stop by to give you these. Uh... why're you hiding behind the door?" He asks, looking at you with the same confusion but a grin rising on his face. 

Your face turns red, you're sure of it. "Oh, um. I was in the bath when you knocked. I'm in a robe but--- just. Come in." You stumble over your words a little, pulling him inside while he laughs. He gets a good look at you, smirking as you shift, embarrassed. 

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. You don't have to be embarrassed, never with me." He says, and while you know he's teasing, you can sense the earnest truth in his tone.

"Well, you could've been any old stranger for all I knew. I can't have anyone else seeing me like this." You tease back as you get closer to him. 

Gently, you take the bouquet from him so you can find somewhere to place them. Once the flowers are in your grasp, you look closer at them. It's a mix of three different kinds of flowers; there's the classic rose, but it's in a light pink shade. Then there's light blue carnations mingled in, with your favorite, white snapdragons, on the outside. It's very on-brand and it makes your heart jump. 

You smile up at your boyfriend brightly. "These are beautiful, thank you." 

He matches your smile with an even brighter one, leaning closer to wrap an arm around your waist, kissing you softly. He pulls back, a loving expression on his face before he sighs. "I've got to get back to Mary. Sorry I can't stay." His facial expression turns to a slight grimace---not one due to distaste for Mary, but one of distaste for leaving you on your own. 

You roll your eyes fondly. "Yeah, I know. Get outta here." 

He makes his way to the door, calling, "Saturday, you and me, it's on!" 

You snicker. "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you then, lover boy." 

\----------------

Saturday rolled around, your pushed-back Valentine’s day. You still had no idea what Joseph had planned. Joseph had shot you a message about an hour before he was scheduled to come get you. It was just a suggestion to wear something warm, because you might be outside for quite some time. 

It wasn't startling cold out. It was about 45 degrees Fahrenheit, which was still cold, but not necessarily freezing. So you selected a plain white-button down shirt then slipped a neutral striped sweater over it, popping the collar of your shirt over the sweater's collar. You had showered earlier, washing your hair and then going over the rest of your hygienic rituals twice. A few extra spritzes of cologne were applied, extra effort in the styling of your hair. Of course, your teeth had been brushed twice as well as rinsed with mouth-wash, mints being tucked into your pocket as an extra-precaution.

You knew you were being ridiculous, you knew you didn't need to put extra effort in your appearance as that's not why Joseph liked you, but this could be a really fancy place he could be bringing you too for all you know. Making sure Joseph's gift was tucked safely in your bag, all there was left to do was wait. Just as you were going to check the time, a knock sounded at your door. 

With only a little bit of nervousness, you swung it open. Your boyfriend, as expected, appears behind it. He, too, had switched up his normal attire. Instead of the khakis and polo, a black button down and _jeans_ appeared. You hadn't known he owned jeans. They were nice, a lighter blue color. A pink tie was also a part of the ensemble, his usual style peeking through. A long coat was draped over him. He did say to dress warmly. Then, when his face lit up at seeing you behind the door, you felt your breath leave your body. The effect he had on you was something you'd never felt before, something you knew wasn't going away. 

You couldn't help yourself from meeting his smile with a matching one. "Hey." 

"Hi. You look lovely." He starts, kissing your cheek as a hello.

You don't let him go far, holding onto his bicep. "Thank you, but baby, have you ever looked in a mirror? Because _that's_ the more lovely sight." 

He laughs at your cheesy return, placing his hands at your waist and kissing you fully. "I beg to differ. I've got the best man in Maple Bay in my grasp." He teases as your face turns shades redder before pulling back a bit. "Are you ready to go?" 

You nod, you'd checked your things at least three times over. There was no way you could forget something. Throwing your coat on over your shoulders, you turn back to him. Smiling again, he took your hand securely in his, leading you out the door. Upon feeling the cold wind whip at your face, you stepped closer, nestling into his side. 

Once you were in the car, he turned the heat up quickly. He knew you were a bit over sensitive to the cold, so it was appreciated. There was light banter between the two of you as Joseph drove. You kept your eyes on him, but occasionally they flicked to the windows to see if you could tell where you were going. It looked like you were in the direction of the Bayside. 

It turns out you were right, because as the bay came into view, he pulled the car in and stopped. As you started to unbuckle yourself and reach for the door, he spoke up. "Wait, wait. Stay there." 

You shot him a quizzical look but complied. He got out of the car, hurrying to your side to open the door for you. You couldn't help yourself from the small left that came out of your mouth. "What a gentleman!" You say brightly, meeting him for a quick kiss as you ducked out of the car.

You were a little confused as to why he brought you out here, until he grabbed your hand again and led you to... oh! His yacht. The memories of the night you'd spent there with him made your face grow hot. The memories of what came after weren't so pleasant, but either way... you were here again, happy. 

"Well, you did a good job at keeping it a surprise. I wasn't expecting this!" You say, brightly.

He just smiles. It wasn't long before you reached the yacht, Joseph going on first so he could help you up. Once you were up there, you looked around and were surprised. It looked a bit different from the time that you were there last summer. The chairs had been shifted, two specifically close to a fire-pit that had not been there before with blankets draped over them.

"You've changed the place around a bit since the last time I was here." You drawled. 

He nodded, shooting a smile back to you as he messed with the boat controls. "Yep! It's for us." 

You feel your heartbeat grow faster, something in your chest warming up. "It looks great."

Joseph hums. He starts launching the boat as you walk around a little, noting subtle differences. You watch him as he's working, really enjoying the sight before your eyes. He's different here. It's really like all the issues and stress he deals with has been left behind on the shore. He's been happier since he's been with you, but life still got to him. But it didn't get to him here. 

You find yourself smiling as you creep closer to him to watch what he's doing. When he notices you're closer, he steps away from the console for just a moment to kiss your cheek again. You're still a little way away from the console though, so he has to return. You keep up banter as you two sail out further and further away from the shore, to the point where it's only ocean around you.

It was actually a little warmer out there thanks to the sea water, but you still felt a shiver creeping down your spine. Now that you were finally out on the open waters, Joseph could leave the boat to its own devices for a while. He made a beeline to you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you into him; pressing you up against him completely. You weren't cold anymore.

Because he's a little bit taller than you were, he leans his head down to bury it in your shoulder, squeezing you tight. "I hope you don't mind me bringing us out to the yacht. I know it's kind of cold, but I just wanted to get away from everything with you." 

You smile and raise your hand to run your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. "No, it's perfect. Thank you." 

You lean back to kiss him fully, letting him pull you fully into him. After you two pull apart, you decide to tease him. "Do we have enough fuel to get back? Or are we going to get stranded again?" 

He bit back a smile. "I made sure we'll have enough to last us well past tomorrow morning if we need it."

He looked like he was thinking about something, his face fond and happy but with a faraway look in his eyes. But he quickly snapped out of whatever it was, taking you under his arm to lead you to the deck chair. He sits you down, grabbing a blanket and draping it over you instead. "Just sit tight for a minute, let me get this fire started." 

"Joe, I can help---" You start to say. 

He waves his hand in a signal to stay seated. "Relax, honey. I got this; it'll only take a minute." 

So you let him do as he would. Sure enough, there was a crackling fire in front of you before even two minutes had passed by. Once the fire was stoked, your boyfriend stepped back, taking a seat next to you. You take half of your blanket and throw it over him, Joseph snuggling up close so he could fit under it fully. You laid your head on his shoulder, him following suite by leaning his head on top of yours.

It's quiet for a little while, just the two of you unwinding in each other's company, fire crackling in front of you. Then your stomach lets out a grumble, causing you to flush. Joseph just laughs, fingers sliding out as he rubs at your back before he stands up, taking his warmth away from you. Thankfully, the blanket falls back to your side, concealing some of said warmth and bringing it to you.

"I'm getting hungry too. It's dinner time, after all. Hold tight, I'll be right back." He says, kissing your forehead before making his way to the ship cabin. You find yourself smiling widely, heart light in your chest. 

He comes back with a grill grate and a few food packages in his hands. "Alright, are you ready to observe my skills as a grill-master?" He teases, blinding smile in your direction.

You raise an eyebrow. "Only if you're ready to observe my skills while I help you." 

He meets your gaze with a mock challenging one. "Alright, then! We'll just have to see who the true grill-master is. I'll try to go easy on you, but only because you're my significant other. If you were anyone else, you’d get smoked." 

You choke back a snort, standing to join him and help set up. 

It'd turned out to be grilled chicken with a side of grilled vegetables. You switched on and off the grill, Joseph kept trying to trip you up with affection. He really thought he could get away with distracting you by giving you affection. Well, he was right, but he didn't have to know that. It started with him creeping a little too close to be anything but romantic contact, then there was an arm completely wrapping around you, lips pressing all over your face. "Joseph!" You try to scold but wind up giggling anyway. "Stop trying to kiss me while I'm grilling. You'll mess me up." 

He took his other arm and slung it over the front of you so that he was hugging you from the side. "You might as well just admit that I'm the true grill master." His tone is fake-cocky. 

Getting an idea to tease him yourself, you force down a smirk and turn your head to the side, so it looks like you want to kiss him. Gladly, he moves in to follow through with it, but at the last second you pull away. He audibly whines and pouts at you. "Hush. You can get a kiss from me when you let me finish." 

He grumbled, keeping his arms around you but letting you finish. But when you did finish, he didn't let you kiss him. Just like you had, he pulled away at the last second. You frowned. Okay, fair. Maybe you had been a little mean. "So you're not gonna let me kiss you now?" 

"Nope! If you're going to tease me, you'll get the same treatment right back." Then he pulled his hands away from you, stepping away from you. You knew he wasn't really angry; he was just teasing. But with him gone you felt cold, even though you were right in front of the fire. 

Well, the food was finished. You took the veggies off the grill, placing it next to the chicken that had already been grilled, courtesy of Joseph. 

You both grabbed your plates and sat down, jokingly bickering the whole time, Joseph refusing to come back to your side. 

Seriously though, you were getting cold. You grabbed the blanket behind you, tucking it around your shoulders in attempt to get warmer. Were your shivers noticeable? 

They definitely were. Joseph looked to you from over his plate, actual concern taking over his face. "Oh. Baby," He starts, finally relenting, sliding over to you and ducking under the blanket with you. "You should've told me you were getting cold."

You smile into his embrace. You finish dinner and the thought of his gift pops into your head. He goes to say something, but you beat him to it. "Wait, Joseph. Before I forget, I have something I want to give to you. It's just a little thing, but I hope you’ll like it." 

You reach for your bag, unzipping it to grab the gift, which was sitting at the top of everything in said bag. "Sorry it isn't wrapped." You apologize, passing the object to him. 

It wasn't anything big like you had said, but you had put in some thought to it. Over the past few months, you'd snuck photos of the both of you together. Even Mary had gotten in on it, snapping photos on her phone whenever either of you two had looked especially happy in each other's company. You'd selected the best ones, printed out rather small versions of them, then placed them all strategically in a collage. All the pictures were mock-Polaroids, surrounding the middle piece which said: 

"Joseph & (D/N)

October 18th, 2017."

It was just reminiscent of the day you'd became official. You had gotten the idea for it a few weeks ago. The collage was just placed in a frame, only big enough for a desktop or something of the sorts. It wasn't a big deal, but you knew Joe was a sentimental guy, so you took a gamble. 

It looks like the gamble was worth it. Joseph held onto the picture frame like it was something precious, you thought you saw tears welling up in his eyes. "Joe, are you okay? I didn't----"

You were cut off, the blonde placing the picture down carefully before wrapping his arm around your back and pulling you into a gentle kiss. There was no heat involved, it was completely loving. You felt wetness on your cheeks that you knew hadn't come from your eyes, so you gingerly broke apart to look at your partner. Your hands raise to his face, cupping his cheeks to carefully wipe the tears that resided there away. "What's the matter? Did I do something?" 

He shakes his head immediately. "No. Well---yes. But nothing wrong. I'm just..." He pulls you into a hug, burying his face in your shoulder. "I'm happy. With you. I'm happy with you." 

You hold him for a minute, hand raising to run your fingers through the hair at the back of his head before he pulls away, wiping at his eyes. "I have something for you too, it's in the cabin though." He goes to get up, but you reach out and stop him.

"It's okay, you don't have to get it right now." You say, pulling him back down to you. 

The blonde hesitates but then nods, settling back down with you. You guide him to lay back on the chair, curling up against him when he does. Joseph slips his arm around your back, holding you snugly. 

The pair of you stay like that for a good hour, talking about a whole range of things. Christie and Christian had taken interest in their school's theatre department. It was good that they were showing interest in something like that so young. It made sense as well, with how the both of them got a real thrill out of taking on a creepy persona. The twins were in a school play, which you already knew that you were going to be attending the second Joseph mentioned it. 

You talked about Mary, how they'd met and how their relationship was before you had stepped into the picture, all the way from the beginning. Then you'd moved to the subject of Alex, how you'd fallen for him and when you'd brought Amanda home. Joseph didn't know much about Alex and he'd wanted to learn more about him, as he was an important part of your past. 

Then, he'd asked a seemingly out of the blue question. "When was the last time you properly danced with someone?" 

You lowered your eyebrows, thinking about it for a minute. "Hm. I think the last time was... at my wedding, actually." 

Joseph shifted underneath you. "Really?" 

You nod. "Yeah. Alex and I had Amanda soon after we got married, so it wasn't like we were out clubbing. We just never had anywhere to go with dancing like that."

"Do you like dancing with a partner?" He asks, and you press your ear closer into his chest. You like hearing his voice rumble. 

"Yeah, it's nice. It's like you're really in sync with the person you're dancing with. We just never really did it." 

With that, Joseph is sliding out from beneath you, standing up. You protest but he just kisses your forehead before walking over to the yacht's sound system, messing with it for a moment until soft music starts playing. It isn't Jimmy Buffett, almost surprisingly. It's a soft guitar rhythm, a song you recognize. It's a couple years old, played on the radio a lot. The song is by a ginger man by the name of Ed Sheeran, Amanda told you. You can't remember the song's name, unfortunately.

Then Joseph turns back to you, walking up to where you're now sitting, extending his hand to you. "May I have the honor of... having this dance?" He fumbles a little. You can't help it, you laugh. He really makes you feel like a teenager again.

You place his hand in his. "You may." 

Your boyfriend leads you to the center of his yacht, the floor clear here. You both settle in easily, him leading the movement. His arm reaches around to hold you by the waist, your hand meeting his shoulder. Then both of you hold your hands out, clasped together. You step together in time, never fumbling. It's nice, and you lean forward, pressing your head against his chest. He moves to accommodate you, but you keep dancing. As the song fades out, he spins you both, dipping you like in a movie. 

Once he pulls you up, you kiss him for a moment, the entire world going fuzzy around you for a moment. This... this makes you happy. He makes you happy. You loved him; you knew it for sure now. You weren't going to say it, not yet. But you knew.

You wound up staying the night on the yacht. The blonde had asked you too, and you just couldn't say no. 

You had been cuddled back on the recliner when he'd asked. The sky was turning dark, music still playing softly. "I really don't want to go back... Not tonight. Would you be willing to stay the night with me? It's warm inside the cabin, I promise." He asks, rubbing at your back. 

You really wanted to say yes. "Oh. It sounds tempting but..."

Then you looked up at him, blue eyes gazing at you beseechingly. You knew instantly that he had you hooked, but honestly you didn't mind. It wasn't exactly a hard thing to do, crawling into bed with Joseph and getting cuddled up. "Alright, okay. I'll stay." 

The grin he gives you is brighter than the stars that are beginning to appear in the sky. 

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

You currently had your toes sinking in wet sand. It was a particularly warm day, an odd occurrence for the time of year. Joseph had cheerily popped his head over the fence to you while you were enjoying the sunlight.

"Hey, sweetheart! Mary and I are taking the kids down to the beach. Got to take advantage of the warm weather before it leaves again! Do you wanna come with?"

You mulled it over for a moment. You, in swimming trunks in public? _Yikes._ But then... if you went, you'd get to see Joseph in a swimsuit... Oh, fuck it. You were going. You told him you'd need a few minutes, but you wanted to go.

The blonde man in turn beamed at you, saying to meet him in front of his house in twenty minutes.

So, you broke out your swimsuit. You slipped into the thing after it being out-of-use for a few months. Keeping your t-shirt very much on, you grabbed a towel and your wallet. You still had a few minutes, so you brushed your teeth, brushing out your hair and applying a faint hint of cologne.

You took the short walk to Joseph's, arriving just as the family of six stepped out the door. Joseph had a plain t-shirt on instead of his usual polo, and swim trunks on. The trunks were pink and blue---no surprise there. The shorts themselves were pastel blue, with pink ships printed on them. Joseph in those had to be one of the cutest things you'd ever seen.

Mary reached you first, pulling you into the best hug she could give with Crish on her hip. "Hey, thanks for coming. With four kids, we can use as much help as we can get."

You chuckled. "Oh, I believe it. Even with me, they still have us outnumbered!"

Then you felt tiny arms wrapping around your legs in a hug. You knew who it was without even having to look down. Christie. She had become fond of you once you started helping her bake with her dad. That didn't mean she stopped trying to creep you out sometimes, though. "Hi, (D/N)!"

You bent over slightly to ruffle her hair. "Hi, sweetie! You ready for beach day?"

She let go of you and jumped up. "Yup! It's gonna be so much fun!"

Within 2 seconds, the little girl was already gone and in the car. She had a ridiculous amount of energy.

You looked up again to find Joseph looking at you fondly. He loved that you cared so much for his kids. He stepped towards you, grabbing you gently to place a kiss on your lips. When he pulled back, he still had that fond smile on his face. "Hey. Glad you're coming with us."

You smiled back. "Me too."

Once everyone was piled into the car, you made your way to the beach. You lugged out the cooler once you got there, beach towels and a blanket to settle on. Once everything was set up, things got interesting.

Joseph removed his top with an easy motion. Seeing it made your stomach drop. You certainly hadn't forgotten what he looked like underneath the collar, but it still gave you a thrill to see it. He caught you staring, because of course he did. "You see something you like?"

You felt a heat rising to your cheeks that was _not_ from the heat of the sun. You averted your gaze, turning away, while he laughed good-naturedly. You don't know why you got so flustered--- he was your boyfriend, after all. You guessed he just had that strong of an effect on you. 

  
You guessed it was time for you to remove your shirt as well, so with a slightly reluctant action, you did so. You discarded the t-shirt by the cooler, the place of safe keeping for personal items. 

  
Immediately after, you moved to help a struggling Chris open a water bottle when you felt eyes on you from across the blanket. You glanced up, finding that Joseph was staring at you. You raised an eyebrow at him and couldn't help yourself from smirking just a bit. Both parties were guilty of staring.

You had been there for about an hour and a half when you finally decided to edge towards the water. The ocean scared you. The things in the ocean scared you. But you'd spent a while roasting in the sun, you were getting overheated and there was only one real way to cool down.

You started by just planting your feet in the sand that got touched by the little waves, the sand sinking underneath your toes every time the tide came in. Slowly you started to venture out more, where the waves were just a little higher. Your feet were completely submerged, the ocean now having you by the ankle.

A voice called out to you from the shore. "Hey (D/N), don't go too far! The whales are lurking. They'll get you!"

Your chest clenched at the words. You knew he was joking but your fear of the ocean was very, very real. You turned your waist to look back at him, keeping your feet planted.

"Joseph, don't you dare say that. I'll never be able to step foot on a beach- _or your yacht-_ ever again!" You try to say it as a serious threat, but you're laughing as you speak.

He placed a hand on his chest in mock-fear. He was smiling. "You mean we can't go to Margarita Zone because of the whales!? I already told you I'd---"

Then his face changed. His eyes widened, smile dropping, his joking tone being replaced with a fearful one. "(D/N), watch out!"

You start to ask, "What?" As you turn back around to face the ocean. You were very suddenly met with the ocean, your vision being taken up by a thick wave that was a few feet above your head about to crash down on you.

Oh. That's what.

You tried to run but it was no use. The wave crashed down on you not even a second later, pulling you under. Water fills your nostrils, making you choke. The wave pulls you into the dark body of water fast. You can't see, it's dark, plus the salt burns your eyes. You can only hear the ocean moving, water filling up your ears and your heart pounding. _This_ is why you were afraid of the ocean. As you tried to swim up to the surface, get out of the current, something extremely sharp, maybe broken glass, found itself at the palm of your hand, cutting you.

You would've hissed if you weren't under the water. Oh god, you were bleeding. Blood attracts sharks. Hurry, hurry, hurry, get to the surface. You could see the light, you swam to it, ignoring the pounding of your heart, the dizziness in your head and the stinging of your palm.

Finally, your head broke water. You took a gasping breath, turning to find where the shore was. It was farther than where you had been standing, that current had really dragged you. You coughed, trying to rid your body of the saltwater that had just invaded it.

The coughing drew Joseph's attention from about 10 feet away, who was swimming frantically trying to find you.

He made haste in treading towards you. "(D/N)! I couldn't find you! Thank God you're alright." He sounded breathless and like he has been in a panic.

You had a little trouble focusing on what he was saying because you were having trouble staying afloat. Your head was still ringing, the waves were still slamming against you, the pain in your hand was getting worse and you were tired from that life-or-death experience.

Joseph saw what was happening and he immediately took action. He moved so that he was by your side, throwing an arm around your back to hold you upright. "Come on. You need to get to shore. I'll swim with you."

You had never been so grateful to place your feet on ground before. You didn't think you would be going near the ocean for quite some time after this. In fact, you just wanted to curl up under a bunch of blankets with junk food for a week.

Then the stinging in your hand brought you back to Earth. Your head felt waterlogged and you felt sick as you raised your shaking hand to examine it. Oh yes, that was glass that had cut you. Glass that was still nestled deep into your palm, red liquid welling up around it.

You hear your boyfriend take a sharp intake of breath, carefully grabbing your hand to see for himself. Mary had run up to you from across the beach.

"Are you okay!? What happened?" She asked, bouncing Crish on her hip again.

Seeing that you were still shaken, Joseph told her. "When (D/N) was standing in the water, I distracted him. A giant wave came to get him but we both didn't notice until it was too late. He seems for the most part unscathed, but he hurt his hand badly. Glass collided with it. I'm going to take him up to the car for a minute to patch this up. Will you be okay with the kids alone?" 

Mary looked at you sympathetically, then looked back at her husband. "Yeah, everything will be fine here. Go take care of that cut. We can't have you bleeding all over the place, sailor." She joked lightheartedly, concern still there. It made you smile despite the fact that you felt like your world had just ended.

He led you to the car, both of you still soaked from ocean water. The blonde popped open the trunk, digging out a well-stocked first aid kit. He then patted the empty space, telling you to sit. You nodded, doing as you were told. The stinging was getting quite bothersome and you just wanted this over with.

He pulled out a pair of tweezers before grabbing your injured hand, gentle as ever. "Pulling out the glass shards might hurt a bit. But it'll be over soon, I promise."

His soothing tone pulled at your heartstrings. "Okay." You tell him, giving him permission to start working.

Pulling out the glass had hurt more than you expected. Every few shards there would be one that didn't want to let go. Upon hearing your sharp intake of breath or seeing you wince, a mumbled "sorry" came out.

Finally the shards were removed. Then came disinfecting. Peroxide was carefully poured onto the wound, which made you hiss. It was then dabbed at to remove the liquid and remaining blood before Neosporin was applied.

The final step was to wrap it in gauze. Joseph was careful as he wrapped layers of the soft material around your hand, tightening it at the end. He did this all with a practiced gentleness, one that made your heart warm.

He let go of your hand, stepping back slightly to look at you. "There we go! All finished."

You looked at your hand slowly, admiring his handy work. Then your gaze flicked to him as you smiled. "Thanks, Joseph. I dunno what I would've done without you."

Joseph was looking at you softly. He smiled a little. "Of course. I like taking care of you."

Then his smile fell, he was looking at you softly still, but with a much more serious tone. You grew concerned, cocking your head to the side. "What is it? Is something---" You were cut off as Joseph reached out, completely engulfing you in his arms. He pulled you to him, holding you tightly up against his chest. You didn't hesitate to reciprocate, arms going up to wrap around his torso. You turned your head on its side to lay it against him, hearing his heartbeat.

He held you for a few moments, not saying anything. "Joseph." You finally spoke, breaking the quiet. "Are you okay?"

Joseph pulled back, but he kept his hands on your shoulders. He smiled faintly. "You're asking me if I'm okay after you nearly drowned?" He shook his head fondly. He pulled you even closer to him, kissing the top of your head. "Seeing you get swept away by that wave was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. And then when I couldn't find you..." He shook his head again, as if trying to clear his mind of the thought. "I never want to lose you. I know we've only known each other for a few months but, my life has never been better than when I'm with you. I love you."

You were stunned by hearing those words. You loved him, of course, you'd had thought that he _might_ love you back, but never got too close to the idea due to fear about getting hurt. Neither of you had said those words out loud, until now. Upon seeing your shocked facial expression, he started to speak again, tripping over his words and pulling his hands away from you. "Oh. I uh- I. I meant that I care---"

He was trying to take it back. You grabbed one of his hands before it could fall out of your reach. "Please don't take it back now that you've said it. That'd just be cruel."

Instantly his mouth snapped closed.

"Joseph. I love you too. I've _been_ in love with you for... I'm not actually sure for how long. A while. I just didn't say anything because... well, for a lot of reasons."

Your partner's blue eyes were searching yours carefully before they widened. "You mean you... when I left you the first time... you? Even then?" He was asking if you loved him when he left you.

Looking down and away, you nodded sheepishly.

His facial expression changed into something that was both loving and sad. Just like that, you were being swaddled up in his arms again. "Baby, I am so sorry. If I had known... I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have left you alone."

You rubbed at his back. "It's in the past now, Joe. It's alright. Everything worked out in the end, didn't it?"

He let go of you, which you would be annoyed by if he didn't give you such a loving look. "Yeah. This is now. You know, I almost flubbed and told you I loved you on Valentine’s day. I've known for a long time."

He moved forward again, this time kissing your lips. You felt his hand cradle the back of your head, fingers embedding themselves into your hair. He pressed against you, making you lean back, pushing yourself up on your hands. His other hand found it's way to your hip, while you felt yourself smiling into the kiss. One kiss turned into two, then three.

"Joseph..." You started in between kisses. He hummed in response, not wanting to waste time with words. "We should prob-" You were cut off by another kiss. "Probably get back. They'll-" Another kiss. "Be looking for us soon." You were finally able to finish your sentence. Not that you minded being cut off--- not when it was with kisses.

Joseph pulled back slightly, looking like he was mulling it over. "Hm... We can go back. In a minute." He smiled brightly at you, pulling you in for another kiss while you laughed.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

You had been at Joseph and Mary's for the evening, the kids were spending the weekend with their grandparents. You had made and enjoyed dinner together before retiring to the living room, both wine and margaritas being poured. You had spent the evening drinking, laughing and joking with the both of them while music played softly through the room. It had been a good night.

It was getting late; you knew you should probably head home soon. But rain had started pelting down in bucket-loads, and it showed no sign of stopping. Thunder and lightning accompanied it. Your house was only next door, but it would still suck walking home. You would get soaked within two seconds.

Mary and Joseph were starting to slow down. You knew that you couldn't stay, you couldn't keep them up. You sat up from where you were slouched against the couch, putting your glass down. "It's late, I can see you both are tired. I should head home."

Joseph threw a glance at the window. "It's raining though..."

You shrug. "Well... yeah. But it's just water."

He turned back to you. The alcohol was clearly affecting him a bit. "Nooo. I don't want you to get cold and wet. You might get sick."

"It's bedtime, though." You say, in slight argument.

"You could sleep here." Joseph offers. You were tempted to say yes, the offer was tempting but you didn't have clothes to sleep in, or a toothbrush. Worst of all, sleeping on the couch would make your backside hate you for two days.

"I'd say yes but I don't have anything to sleep in and sleeping on the couch would kill my back." You respond, still protesting.

"I didn't mean sleeping on the couch. I meant...sharing the bed with us. You could borrow one of my t-shirts to sleep in." Joseph clearly really wanted you to stay.

You looked at Mary. This almost felt strange. Sleeping in their bed with them felt like you would be invading too much on their relationship. Joseph was your boyfriend, but Joseph was also her husband. It was two separate things. Surprisingly, she looked as though she was considering it. "Well. We do have a large King. I'm sure you could fit in comfortably."

You raised your eyebrows. You hadn't been expecting to hear that.

Joseph was waiting for your confirmation. "Will you stay the night?" He asks one more time, a soft tone of voice.

You gave in. "Yes. Okay. I'll stay."

When you saw the way Joseph lit up, you knew immediately that you had made the right decision. Wine glasses were cleaned and put up, margarita mix was stashed away, music was turned off. Then the three of you went up the stairs, one after the other. You were a chain of linked hands; Mary leading at the front, Joseph in the middle with you behind him.

Their bedroom was nice. It was similar in decor of the rest of their house. It was also a lot bigger than your bedroom was. You felt your stomach drop a little. You were staying the night with Joseph, in his house, in his bed. It wasn't like you had never spent the night with him before. The night on the yacht, then he had stayed in your bed a few times, during late movie nights, when you were sick, when you really didn't want to be alone. But it almost felt like it was a bigger thing, here.

The blonde man made a beeline for the dresser. He opened the second drawer, rummaging for a moment before he found what he wanted. Then he tossed it to you. It was a plain t-shirt, pastel blue and quite soft.

So, this is what you would be sleeping in. You had zero complaints. Almost shyly, you thanked him before shuffling out of your current shirt to switch it. The shirt was big on you, riding down to your mid thighs and loosely fitting on your shoulders.

Feeling a little more embarrassed, you shuffled out of your jeans, folding them carefully for tomorrow. Joseph had managed to find a spare toothbrush for you as well.

Now that you were changed, your teeth were brushed, it was time to head to bed. Mary and Joseph crawled in first, Mary taking the left side while Joseph scooted to the middle. It was safe to assume that you would be taking the right side, but still you were hesitant.

Joseph blinked up at you. He seemed to understand your dilemma. He reached out carefully. "(D/N), come on. It's okay."

Of course, you obliged. You slipped under the covers, letting your partner draw you into his side. His arm was completely draped around your back, holding you tight. If it was anyone else, you might feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. You'd been sleeping alone for years, after all. But with Joseph, there wasn't a place more comfortable than in his arms. You sighed as he kissed your forehead, all doubts and worries fading into nothing as you drifted off to sleep.

Some four hours later though, you woke up because you had to pee. Curse this tiny dad bladder! You’d have to get up, which was a problem, because you were still being held tightly. You smiled fondly. Joseph was definitely a cuddler, there was never a time with him that you fell asleep or woke up with him without his arms around you.

But you really did have to pee. As gently as you could, you removed yourself from his hold, feet stepping on the cold wooden floor. You shivered as you began to step away when a hand grabbed your wrist, making you jump out of your skin.

Turning, you made out Joseph's worried expression in the dark. Damn. Despite your effort in trying not too, you had woken him up. "Where are you going?" He croaked quietly. You wondered what had him worried.

"Just to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." You soothed. He nodded in reply, retracting his hand so you could go.

You hurried in the bathroom, not wanting to be in the cold for too long. You finished up, washing your hands before heading back. You almost stumbled in the dark, but you did find your way back to the bed in one piece. You slipped in quickly, Joseph was still awake. He took you in his arms again without wasting a second.

"When I felt you get up, for a minute I thought you were trying to bail on me." He explained, letting out a quiet breathy laugh.

You squeezed at his side gently. "No, never. I wouldn't do that to you unless there was a serious emergency. Even if that happened, I'd wake you up to tell you."

Joseph hummed appreciatively. The hand at your side moved, finding itself beneath your jaw to gently tilt your face up. He gave you a quick kiss before whispering: "I love you."

You smiled. "I love you, too. Always will."

Another few moments of silence passed. "I like seeing you in my clothes, by the way. I think you might have to borrow them more often." Joseph whispered playfully. You could practically hear him smirking.

You almost squawked, flushing in embarrassment. It seemed your body and brain wanted to embarrass you even more, because you confessed: "I... like it too. It smells like you."

Joseph's breath cut off. You felt worry pool in your gut. "Oh. Is that weird? I just think it's comforting."

Joseph started breathing again. "No, no. I'm happy to hear you say that. It's comforting for you?" He asked.

"... Yeah? It's the smell of the one that I love. Why wouldn't it be?"

You felt Joseph pull you closer to him. "Nobody's ever said that to me before. I didn't think about it. Looks like I might have to send you home with a couple of my shirts." His lips were so close to your ear that you could feel the air when he spoke. It tickled.

You were starting to fall asleep again. You pressed closer to him as you mumbled, "Sounds nice. It'd be great for when I'm missing you."

|◇|◇|◇|◇|◇|

Joseph had sent you home with a pair of his sweatpants, so you didn't have to put your jeans from yesterday back on. He also let you keep the t-shirt. As you went to walk out, he pulled you back in upon seeing the frigid temperature outside. He lovingly tucked you into a hoodie of his, one that he must wear a lot because of how strong his scent was in it.

He let you keep all three items. When you'd asked him if he wanted them back the next time you saw him, he shook his head no, telling you to keep them because "maybe they'll come in handy." He also hinted that he might steal one of your hoodies one day.

They had come in handy. Joseph had told you carefully one night that he would be gone to see Mary's family in the Midwest for two weeks. Two weeks.

You weren't mad, of course. You had no reason to be. You would miss him, but it wasn't the end of the world. You'd see him when he got back. You'd lived your whole life before you met him, and even after that you'd lived three months without him. You'd be fine.

You missed him a whole lot when he was gone, though. You two talked, but only for a few minutes of every day. It'd be a few minute-long phone calls and a few texts throughout the day. In the middle of Joseph's trip, your phone beeped with an out of the blue text from him. It made you smile from ear to ear when you read it. ' _I love you.'_ You both didn't say it out loud that often, not wanting to degrade the words’ meaning. You guessed he missed you too.

You did things to keep your mind off of him; you video chatted Amanda, went jogging with Craig, went to trivia with Hugo, went for strolls with Damien, had coffee with Mat, helped Brian with patio furniture and you even went drinking with Robert. But still, you missed him. You'd almost forgotten how much you can miss someone you're in love with. You would always miss Alex, you still loved Alex, but missing Joseph was a fresh thing.

The two-week mark rolled around. You were lounging around the house, adorned in your own sweatpants and Joseph's hoodie. You'd been wearing it kind of a lot; you'd even slept with it on during particularly bad nights.

You wondered when he was getting home. You hadn't heard from him in a few hours. You tried to force down your anxiety, he was probably fine. Just driving. He was fine.

 _'Don't think about it, he's fine'_ you told yourself. You watched the tv, feeling your eyes grow heavy. You must've fallen asleep there, because you wake up to a knock on the door. A totally different program was on the tv than when you fell asleep.

Wiping your eyes, making sure you had no drool on your face, you got up to answer the door. You swung it open, your favorite blonde appearing behind it.

A smile immediately formed on your sleepy face, one that was reflected on Joseph's face.

"Hey." You say, feeling your heart suddenly kick-start.

"Hi." His smile was beautifully blinding. "Can I come in?"

Of course, you let him in. You glanced at the time from the living room. It was around six. "Are you hungry? It's about dinner time." You ask, turning back to him.

"No, not really." He responds immediately. He steps towards you, finally sweeping you into a tight hug. "I see you're wearing my hoodie." He mumbled into your neck. You raise your arms, one completely wrapping around his back while the other reaches up to cradle his head.

"Well, yeah. I missed you." Your cheeks are aching from smiling but you barely notice. Joseph leans his head back from where it was resting in the crook of your neck. He kisses you deeply, you try to meet him halfway.

One kiss turns to two, gentleness turns to hunger. The kisses made you forget your own name--- you find yourself being walked backwards, back getting pressed against the wall. Joseph moved from your lips to your neck, trailing kisses down it. His hands fell from your shoulders to your hips, gripping at them to pull you closer. Thumbs slipped underneath your shirt, pressing into the skin of your stomach.

Your breathing was growing heavier, turning into gasps. He remembered all your sweet spots, hitting them with practiced ease. It had been almost a year since your time on the yacht, how was that even possible? Careful nips at your throat had you holding back moans. The man was beyond good at this, turning you into putty in his hands.

The blonde pulled back, a fire in his eyes. "Let's move this to the bedroom, hm?" His voice was low as he spoke. In an instant, you were being lifted; legs wrapping around Joseph's torso tightly to keep yourself upright.

The sex had been the stuff of magic. It was even better than on the yacht--- which was surprising. It was then, lying in your bed, naked and wrapped up in his arms that the cold thought slipped into your stomach. The last time this had happened, he'd left you cold and heartbroken. All that had happened between you two in the most recent months... that wasn't a rouse. It couldn't be a rouse. But still, fear kicked in, your anxiety swirling. What if he left you again? After all this time... you would never be able to pick up the pieces.

You tried to shake the thoughts, get it out of your mind, but the anxiety was relentless. You took deep breaths, trying to stop your throat from closing and hold back the tears pushing at your eyes. This was ridiculous.

Joseph picked up on it quickly. He loosened his grip on you to look at you carefully. "Hey. What's wrong?" His voice was gentle and soft now, none of the huskiness from before remaining. Just hearing it was soothing, but it wasn't enough. You shook your head helplessly to try and diverge the situation. You didn't want to bother him with this, but it was no use.

A hand reached out to cradle your face, you leaned into it instinctively. "Come on, I know something's bothering you. You look like you're about to cry. Please don't hide this from me."

You sighed, rolling your bottom lip between your teeth. "I know it's stupid to even think it but... I get nervous sometimes. You're... You're not going to leave me, right?" You ask, hesitantly analyzing his face for a reaction. An expression of worried confusion crossed it before one of sad understanding did. "Oh, baby... no. No, no, no." He started softly.

He sat up, leaning against your headboard. He slipped his hands underneath you, effectively lifting you up again to place you in his lap. He cradled you, rocking you both slightly in a comforting manner. "I would never leave you." Then he cringed. "Not again. Never again. I'm here to stay."

The blonde felt a pulling at his heartstrings when he felt the warm wetness of tears on his shoulder from where your head was nestled into his neck. He rubbed at your back, telling you that he loved you until you calmed.

Both of you fell asleep entangled together, and you woke up that way too.


	3. Growing Pains

You were home, curled up in a pile of blankets, crying as the tv droned on. You and Joseph had gotten into a fight. It hadn't ended pleasantly. You’d had little arguments here and there, but it’d never been anything like this before.

Your partner had been really busy lately, which you understood. The church was renovating everything, school was starting again for the kids, Crish was growing into his terror-toddler days. But all of that meant he didn't have much time for you, you missed him greatly. He was also very stressed; you could see he needed a break. Your anxiety didn't help the situation either, feeding you irrational thoughts. So you'd tried to talk to him about it.

You had been at the church, helping him work on flooring when you'd brought it up. "Hey, Joseph?" You'd started.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" He'd responded, not looking up at you.

"You've been working really hard; I can see that you're stressed out. I think you could use a break and we haven't seen a whole lot of each other lately... I was wondering if you'd want to do something together this weekend?" You ask, watching him for any response.

He still didn't even spare you a glance. "Honey, I can't. I've got another youth group event and a car wash."

Your stomach sank while anxieties swirled. He never seemed to have time for you anymore, he was growing more distant. You were feeling sick from thinking about it, so you pressed. That's how the fight had began. He'd snapped at you, you had gotten defensive. In your emotional state, you'd asked him if he was just avoiding you, in which he'd called you crazy and said that you didn't understand.

You'd only seen Joseph truly, seriously angry a few times, but it had never been aimed at you. Until now. It hurt, to say the least. There was yelling, insults thrown from both sides. In the end, he'd told you to just go home, that he'd finish the floor himself. So you did, you just walked out. It probably wasn’t the best thing to do, but you’d done it anyway. Tears were flooding your vision by that point, so when you'd tried to get down the stairs, you'd tripped and twisted your ankle pretty badly.

So that's where you were now. Sitting in a pity pile, rumpled and crying on your couch with an ankle that was throbbing and swelling. You weren't sure what to do, you hadn't had a partner to fight with for the longest time, and even then you'd never had an argument with Alex about something like this.

You knew that you loved Joseph, and you weren't going to lose him over this. (You hoped.) For the moment, you guessed you just had to wait for the anger to settle before you apologized, even though you weren't 100 percent certain of what you'd done wrong.

You clutched the blankets around you tighter, about to lie down on your side for a nap. Maybe you wouldn't cry when you woke up. Just as you closed your eyes, a heavy knock sounded at your door. You grumbled, planning to ignore it. It was probably just a door-to-door salesman. The knock sounded again, then stopped for a moment. Then your phone lit up with a text notification. A text from Joseph.

' _I know you're in there. I'm outside. Let me in?'_

Your stomach lurched. You were scared to talk about him, but you knew you had too. You threw your blanket from your shoulders, standing up and limping to the door. You opened the door carefully, Joseph appearing behind it. He had tried to keep working after you left, but as his anger dissolved and his head cleared, he'd realized what he'd just said and done. He felt it tugging at his chest as he took in your appearance; mussed up hair, tired posture and tear streaked cheeks. He'd felt bad before he saw you, but now he felt even worse.

There was a moment of silence, neither of you quite knowing how to start. You sighed, rubbing at the back of your neck as you opened up your mouth. "I'm. I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm really sor---"

You were cut off. "Don't say you're sorry. Not when it's me who should be."

You blinked in confusion. A hand reached out, cautiously taking yours. "You're right." He starts. "I... I've been working too much and neglecting other things that are important in my life. I'm sorry for getting so angry at you." He shifted, eyes roaming over you sadly. "I. Um. Can... Can I hold you for a minute?"

You nod sheepishly, rather wanting him too. He gathers you up into his arms, pressing you up against his chest. You sighed contentedly, you had missed this. A hand started running through your hair calmingly, lovingly. Then, your ankle decided to give out on you.

You practically crumpled into his arms. Joseph was surprised, as he didn't know about the injury. You explain. "Baby, my ankle. I did something to it and it really hurts, I can't stay standing for long. Can we bring this inside?"

"What happened? It's all swollen." Joseph's voice was ever-soft now as he helped you settle on the couch, the tone of voice that you recognized was designated for when you were upset or not feeling well.

"Oh. I uh, couldn't see very well and I was in a hurry when I was going down the church steps. I twisted it up pretty badly."

"Aw, sweetheart... do you want to put ice on it? It looks like it hurts."

You shake your head. "No, it's okay for right now." It was painful, yes. But sorting things out with Joseph were more important.

Joseph's face remained concerned, but he let it go for now. He sat down close to you, ready to talk.

The blonde was the one to begin. "First of all, I am so, so sorry for how I've been acting and for how I just acted in the church. I hurt you, you didn't deserve any of that anger."

You reach out, hand grabbing for his. He takes it gently, a small smile breaking through his melancholy expression. He continues. "When you said I've been overworking myself, you couldn't be more on-the-money. I can feel the stress seeping into my bones at this point. I know I should take a break but..."

Your eyes searched his tired ones. "But what?"

"I don't want to fail anyone. I don't want to fail the community, I've already failed my wife and kids before, I don't want to fail them again. I want to be a better man. I thought that if I worked hard enough, I'd be able to pull everything off. But clearly it didn't work, because I still failed someone. I knew that I needed to find time for you, find time for us but I just... never got too. I failed you, one of the most important people in my life."

His eyes had filled with tears at the end of his explanation. "Joseph..." You start. You shuffle closer to him. "I can tell there's a lot going on in your head right now. You might regret some stuff you've done in the past but everybody does. Everybody messes up sometimes. Your past does not define you. I've seen you with your kids, with Mary... with me. You have so much love to give. You are a good man, no matter what the voices in your head say." You tell him this without a doubt in your mind.

His eyes search you. "I... you really mean that?" He asks.

You nod without hesitation. "Of course."

There was something holding him back. "I hurt you, though."

You pause for a second before you give a light shrug of your shoulders. "I forgive you, it's okay."

He shakes his head. "It's not."

"Well, I forgive you anyway. All we can do is move forward. It was just an argument, honey." You tell him, placing your hand over his chest.

That brings out a bit of a larger smile. "Can I still hold you?" He asks.

You nearly laugh. "You don't have to ask."

With your permission, he took you in his arms again. You leaned yourself fully against him, laying your head on his chest. You swing your legs up, curling them in a fetal position. The hand that was at your back rubbed soothingly, while his other hand lifted your face by the chin so he could give you a tender kiss.

Then he let your face lay on his chest while he laid his own head on top of yours. "I love you. You know that, right?"

You nod. "Of course I know. And for the record, I love you too."

The pair of you remained on the couch for some time, cuddled up together for the first time in a few weeks. Sweet nothings were whispered into your ears, soft apologizes and reassurances. It was reminiscent of the first time you'd curled up together on this sofa, when you'd gotten back together.

You heard Joseph's voice rumbling in his chest as he began speaking again. "Since I've been repressing it these past few weeks, it's all coming to the surface."

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "What is?"

"How much I missed you." The arms around you tighten their grip. "I missed you so damn much."

Your eyebrows rose on your face. "Bringing out swears now are we?" You tease.

Joseph doesn't respond with words, instead shutting you up with a kiss. After you break apart, you faux annoyance at him. "That wasn't fair."

Another kiss was planted on your lips. "Are you complaining?" He asks.

"No. Never would, not about this." You tell him honestly, leaning up to kiss him again. This moved your ankle the wrong way however, leaving you hissing back in pain.

Frowning, Joseph glanced at the source. "Your ankle is getting worse."

You shrug. "It's... yeah. It hurts a lot." You admit, embarrassed. Joseph gave you a saddened look before he whipped out his phone, typing something into it before he read a response.

"Hang on, I'll be right back." He tells you, gingerly disentangling himself from you. You let out an audible whine at the loss of contact. He just throws you an amused glance before he stepped to your bathroom. ' _Maybe he just had to pee.'_ You think, until your ears pick up on the sound of your bathtub running. To say you were immensely confused would be an understatement. But, if you got up to investigate, you would have to hop your way there.

So you remained on the couch until he reappeared from your bathroom, the sound of water stopping. You raise your eyebrows again, waiting for him to explain. "Okay so, the internet tells me a hot bath might help with the pain. Either way, it should ease your muscles and help relax you. I just drew one for you."

You opened your mouth to protest, to say that he didn't have to do this, but he beat you to the punch. "Ah-ah. I know what you want to say, but I've been neglecting you for weeks. You're in pain, which is kind of my fault, so you're getting pampered. Come on."

He walks over to the couch, giving his hands to you so he can pull you up. He did so with ease, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist to hold you up as you hobbled. It was kind of a slow process, getting to the bathroom. You had to lean on him pretty heavily. "I can carry you if you need it." The blonde whispered into your ear, to which you shook your head no. This was already embarrassing enough. The response you got from him was a kiss to your temple.

Once you got into the bathroom, it dawned on you that you'd have to strip. Despite knowing that Joseph had already seen all of you, it still made your face turn red. The blonde gave a chuckle at your unnecessary embarrassment. "I can turn around if you want me to, even though you have _nothing_ to be ashamed of."

You shook your head at him, flushing before pulling your shirt over your head. To remove your pants, you had to sit down so you didn't topple over. Once you had nothing on, you made a mad dash for the tub. Immediately, you sank down into it. The temperature was hot but wasn't scalding.

Meanwhile your partner came to sit on the edge of the tub. For a couple of minutes, you just chatted idly before he got up again, walking to the back of you. "Here, sit up for a minute?" His voice was gentle as were the hands at your back, so you did as you were asked. There was then a hand entangling itself in your hair, while his other hand carefully poured water over your head.

You nearly squeaked, not expecting it. "What are you doing?"

A light chuckle sank into your ear. "Like I said before, pampering you. Or - taking care of you, if you prefer that term."

You gave a light hum in response. The hands in your hair stopped momentarily so they could open a bottle of shampoo, but they returned quickly. Joseph was extremely gentle in his motions, fingers scratching soothingly at your scalp. "Lean your head back." He softly ordered. "I don't want you to get soap in your eyes."

When you did lean your head back, it was pulled down a little more. You were confused as to why, until you felt an upside-down kiss being pressed onto your forehead. You smiled and sighed contentedly. The past few weeks already felt so far away.

While letting the shampoo set, the hands in your hair moved to your shoulders, gently pushing into the muscles there. You knew you were probably purring like a cat at this point. Joseph had definitely managed to loosen up some tension in the few minutes that he was working on your back.

Your hair was rinsed just as lovingly as it was washed before Joseph stepped back into your field of vision. He looked down at you, his facial expression turning amused as a thought crossed his mind. "I'd ask if you'd mind if I got in there with you, but I don't think the tub is big enough to hold us both."

You felt a blush growing on your cheeks, eyes moving down to view the bath. You quickly came up with a comeback. "Oh, don't worry." You look back up at him. "Once I can stand properly, we can shower together." You wink at him then, watching as your blush reflected itself on his face.

He stuttered a little, clearly thinking about it. "I---uh. That sounds nice." He changes the subject. It looks like his cheeks might be like fire on your hands if you were to touch him. "Are you ready to get out, sweetheart? The water feels like it's getting cold."

Starting to push yourself up, you nod. Your boyfriend basically had to lift you out of the tub. You were still surprised by how strong he was. Once you were out in the cold, you shivered, but it wasn't very long before you were wrapped up in a thick towel and changed into dry clothes. Then the towel was thrown over your head. You were again confused, but then you realized the blonde was trying to dry your hair. You let out a literal giggle at that one.

The rest of the evening was quiet, domestic and calm. You felt your chest lightening every moment, the clouds in your mind clearing. You seriously loved this man. You had a simple pasta dinner together before curling up together on the couch to watch your favorite mindless tv shows.

When it came out that Joseph had never seen a single episode of Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers, you let out an actual squawk of indignation. You insisted that it was an actual crime against his own well-being and had him watch a few episodes with you.

Your boyfriend stayed the night. As you slipped into bed, his arm finding its way around you, he said it. "I think you got me hooked on Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers."

You let out a laugh so hard it makes you snort before you blurt out: "I love you."

At first Joseph doesn't respond with words. Instead he kisses you breathless, then returns the words. "I love you, too." He breathes it out, forehead pressed against yours. You responded by pushing up into another kiss.

You slept better that night than you had in a while.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

It was around nine in the evening, but you found yourself struggling to keep your eyes open. You'd been up early that morning, so it makes sense that you find yourself wanting to turn in early. So, you go around turning off the lights, turning off the living room television, making sure things that shouldn't be on weren't, before heading to your bedroom.

Right before you had to stop and turn on your heels at the loud banging at your door. You jumped out of your skin before hurrying to answer it. Was something the matter? There had to be, otherwise there wouldn't be loud knocking at your door this late at night. You swung it open to be met with... Mary.

But it wasn't the Mary you had begun getting used to seeing. No, the Mary in front of you was crying, (completely sober, you might add) on the near of hysterics. You feel the wind knock out of you just at the sight. "Mary, what's wrong? What happened?"

She swallows. "Hi, sailor." Her voice sounds off, shaky. "Can I come in?" She asks, bravely looking up at you. You nod instantly, taking her under your arm carefully to seat her inside.

It turns out that Joseph and her had gotten into a fight, a bad one. Mary explained it, they'd just started bickering about the kids; how she was spending a lot of time at the Shelter while he was with the kids, and how he was always working at the Church when she was home. It started as a simple argument but had grown into an explosion. She'd calmed down during her explanation, thankfully.

"It's just... since things have gotten better, we've had arguments here and there. What couple doesn't have them? But they were little arguments. We haven't had anything nearly this bad since... since before."

'Since the divorce talk', you fill in. You reach over to hug her, still trying to figure out what to say to console her when there's another frantic knock on the door. You both freeze, knowing that it's a certain blonde behind it. You pull back to look at her. She nods at you. "Let him in. Him and I need to talk about it anyway. Better sooner than later."

So, you get up and answer the door. Joseph looks much less put-together than he usually does, not even counting the fact that he's in a plain t-shirt and sweatpants. He's been crying too, not as bad as Mary, but the evidence is there. His hair also looks like it's been pulled at.

There's a certain look of relief that crosses over your boyfriend's face as he sees you. "(D/N), I'm sorry about how late it is. But I really need your help. Mary and I---"

When he brings up Mary, you step aside so he can see inside your living room, where Mary weakly waves at him. Joseph visibly swallows. You look back and forth between them sympathetically. "Joseph, come in." You say, pulling him by the hand before he can protest. "You both need to talk this out."

You wind up sitting them both next to each other while you sit across from them, trying to play mediator and help them settle this as painlessly as possible. Time goes by quickly as both of them share what's actually going on in their mind, what they're feeling and what they've been feeling. You think this fight was actually more of them just keeping things bottled up than what they were actually fighting about.

You leave the room near the end so the both of them could speak in private. You slip into your bedroom, shutting the door. It's nearly midnight now and it takes all of your willpower to not collapse in your bed. However you do wind up drifting to your bed, sitting on top of it against the wall to try to give Mary and Joseph as much privacy as possible.

You wait there for a while, going in and out of a doze. Then there's a knock at your bedroom door, startling you out of it. You force yourself up, swinging it open to be met with a much happier looking couple. You smile tiredly at them. "You two smooth everything out, then?"

You're met with double nods. Mary swoops in first, pulling you down into a hug and holding onto you for a minute. "Thanks, (D/N). I knew I could trust you."

You pat her back. "Anytime, Mary. You're always welcome here."

Then she pulls away, shooting another smile at you before she steps away, heading to the front door. Your gaze switches to Joseph. He meets you with the same tired smile before pulling you against him in a tight hug. "Thank you, sweetheart. I don't know what I'd do without you." He mumbles into your ear before kissing your forehead and letting go---but not entirely. He keeps his hands on your forearms, checking over your tired condition. "Do you need anything before we go?"

You roll your head to your shoulder. stretching your neck. "What I need is about ten hours of sleep."

He laughs a little. "I hear you, loud and clear." Then you're given a chaste little kiss that was both a bye kiss and a thank you kiss, before you're finally able to fall into bed with a job well done.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

As time went on, you had more-or-less completely integrated with Joseph's family. All four of his kids had figured out that you and Joseph were an item. One time you had stopped by, Chris answering the door. He'd brought you inside, then went to Mary in the kitchen. You'd heard him say: "Mom, dad's boyfriend is here." Hearing that had nearly given you a heart attack.

However, you didn't realize just how much Joseph's family had become your family until towards the end of the next summer. You'd been with Joseph for almost a year at that point, openly so for about 10 months. Amanda had been home since June, she would be starting her Sophomore year soon. You already knew you were going to cry when she went back to school, but you knew you were going to be okay.

For now, you were in Joseph's backyard, seated on the yard swing in the summer sun. It was a Tuesday, Joseph was playing grill-master again. It was just you and Amanda there, just a family dinner. Cul-de-sac barbecues were reserved for Saturdays.

Amanda was a few feet away from you, sitting in the grass with Chris and the twins. While they didn't exactly like her at first, and Amanda was initially freaked out by said kids, they'd grown on each other a lot. Mary came out through the backdoor, Crish on her hip. He was three now. You hadn't even seen him for the first few months that you had been in the Cul-de-sac, so your start with him had been a little rough. He was afraid of you, at first. He had gotten used to you being around, thankfully. You'd spent quite a bit of time with the toddler, watching over him and his siblings when Joseph and Mary were busy, picking him up from daycare sometimes, getting up when you stayed over if he cried during the night. You'd been there a lot with the kids, honestly. You cared about them as much as you cared about Amanda.

But it was still shocking when Crish called you dad. Or to be more specific, calling you "Dada".

Mary was sat across from you, the baby in one arm, a glass of wine in her other hand. It was one that she had been nursing for a little bit of time. When you first met her, Mary would've had at least two and a half downed by this time.

Crish had started to get a little fussy, shifting in her lap. She stopped mid-sentence to look down at him. "What is it sweetie?"

His response was only half decipherable, he was still learning to talk. You made out: "Want dada."

"Okay, sweetie. Let's see if daddy can hold you." She said, putting her wine glass down and getting up, starting to walk over to Joseph, who was just finishing up the grilling. Until Crish let out a whine, trying to push himself up to see over his mother's shoulders. She stopped to look at him. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted dada?"

Crish shakes his head, reaching over her shoulder and making grabby-hands at you. "That dada."

You froze. Mary froze, Joseph froze. Even the kids froze. Mary was the first one to snap out of it, glancing at Joseph first, only to find his attention was on you. Shrugging, she made her way towards you, ready to hand you Crish. She didn't seem surprised by the advancement. You were still a little shell-shocked, but you took hold of him gently.

The toddler immediately settled in your lap and you couldn't stop a smile from forming on your face. He'd called you dad. Wait, he'd called you dad. Joseph might not be happy about that. Alarmed, you switched your attention to your partner, but were surprised to see him staring at you with only adoration in his expression.

He swallowed. "Did... did he just call you his other dad?"

"I uh... I think he did? I swear I didn't teach him that." You say before you notice Joseph's eyes watering. "... Joseph, are you okay?"

He nods, wiping at his eyes and smiling. Your brain was still catching up to everything, so you were confused by his reaction. Mary was the next one to speak up. "Welcome to the family, sailor."

You blinked, and not being able to bring up a proper response in your state, you simply blurted: "what?"

It was clear that you didn't exactly know what was happening. Mary leaned back, an easy-going stance. "(D/N). You've been around a lot. You take good care of Joseph, you look out for me, and you look out for our kids. Even though it hasn't really been that long, the kids adore you, which is good because I don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon. Not that I would want you too. But to be frank, you're like another parent here."

At Mary's speech, you felt your eyes water. You told yourself desperately not to cry. Joseph had turned back to the grill for a moment, turning it off and closing it for the time being before he made his way to you. He sat in the space next to you, taking your free hand in his. Your eyes flicked to him. Your voice was quiet and shaky when you asked him, "Joseph... are you okay with this?"

He gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "Of course. I'm so happy to see you care so much for my kids, and for my kids to care so much for you." He moved, sliding next to you so he could take you and Crish under his arm. "You becoming part of the family has been one of the best things to ever happen in my life." He told you earnestly, kissing your forehead, then reaching his hand out for Crish's tiny one to take.

And then there was the sound of a camera flutter. Your head spun forward, catching Amanda with her phone up, clearly the culprit of the photo. She laughed at your reaction of surprise. You laughed too, but then your expression changed to one of seriousness.

You were trying to communicate with her through a look alone. Trying to ask her if she was alright with another set of kids calling you dad. If she was really okay with you taking on another family--- a new family that she would be apart of. You both would never forget her father, you wished he was still here. But you were happy here, and it seemed she was too. She nodded at you, picking up on what you were trying to say.

Then she was at your side, the one Joseph wasn't occupying. You felt her throw her arm around your back and her head resting atop of yours. It wasn't a full hug, because one wasn't physically possible, but it might as well have been.

There you were, your daughter, your partner, and your partner's son--- was he your unofficially adopted son now? Regardless, all three were piled on top of you. You stifled a sniffle. "You guys really are just trying to make me cry, aren't you?"

A laugh came from Joseph and Amanda, Mary too.

On your walk home, you asked her. "Amanda, seriously. You're one hundred percent okay with becoming a family with Joseph's?

Amanda laughed at you before she turned serious. "I'll admit it, I was put off by his kids at first. I didn't like Joseph for a while after he left you. But now that I've gotten better acquainted with his kids, I know they won't try to take my soul. And seeing how Joseph treats you now, seeing how happy it all makes you. I'll always miss dad but... I'm okay with becoming a part of another family. I'm happy to see you happy."

You sniffled. "Panda, you made your dad cry again."

She laughs again. "Sorry. Wait, no I'm not."

You swat her gently before taking your daughter under your arm. "Nothing will ever replace you or your father, sweetheart. I'm always gonna love your dad, you're always gonna be my top priority. But... yeah. It's nice being able to love someone else too."

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

Your phone buzzed, screen lighting up. It read: **New Message: Mary**

No hesitation, you unlocked the phone to read the message. It wasn't from any of your group chats, so it had to be personal.

 **Mary:** Hey buddy boy... so you know how it's flu season?

Uh-oh.

 **You:**... Yes. Why?

 **Mary:** Since it's so early in the season, we haven't gotten our shots yet and somebody in our household happened to catch it. I'll give you a hint---it wasn't me. Or the kids.

 **You:** Joseph is sick, I take it?

 **Mary:** Bingo! Both of us are worried the kids will get sick.... I know it's a big favor to ask, but would you be willing to have Joseph ride this out at your house?

You sighed. It looks like you would be spending the week taking care of Joseph. You didn't mind taking care of him, but you knew you were probably going to be contracting the illness yourself. But there was no way you were going to deny helping them.

 **You:** I'm gonna go make a quick run to the store to grab supplies to combat it. After that, you can send him over whenever.

 **Mary:** Great. You're a life saver, sailor.

 **Mary:** Wait-

 **Mary:** Did you get your flu shot this season?

 **You:**...No. Gonna try not to get down with the sickness.

 **Mary:** I'd hate you for that pun, but since you're taking care of my husband for me, I can't.

You laughed before pulling your coat on. Time to run to the store.

\-----

Multiple packs of soup, a new heating pad, tea, and over-the-counter medication were now stocked in your home. Ginger ale was also bought in case of an upset stomach, and your humidifier was unpacked. You were prepared for war. Just in time, too. A knock sounded at your door, you hurried to it to let him inside.

Upon opening the door, you found he looked worse than you thought. His hair was a bit of a mess, his skin pale and eyes sunken in. "Hey." He tried, but his voice sounded like he had lost half of his vocal cords since you'd last seen him, which was only two days ago.

"Hi, love. Come inside, out of the cold." You say it softly, pulling him inside and shutting the door. "Do you want to lie down on the couch for now, or would you feel more comfortable in bed?"

He let out a strangled cough before he could reply. "The couch is fine. Thanks for helping me out."

"Of course." You soothe, before you look around, frowning. "Joseph, did you not bring anything with you?"

He let out a groan. "It slipped my mind. I was trying to get everything else sorted..." He went to get up, but you placed his hand on his chest, gently pushing him back down.

"Don't worry, I can run over there really quick and grab some stuff. Will you be okay here for a few minutes?" You ask him, not wanting him to waste anymore of his energy.

With a nod of affirmation, you quickly dashed over to your boyfriend's house, knocking on the door. Mary answered it. "Hey, Sailor. Joseph forget to bring some of his things?" She asked, already figuring out what you were there for.

You nod. "Yup. Told him I'd grab them for him."

She returned your nod and let you in, helping you get a few pairs of comfortable clothing--- sweatpants and a couple of t-shirts as well as pajamas. You then get his personal hygiene items together before hugging Mary goodbye, promising to give her updates.

Once you got back to your place, you told Joseph you'd be with him in a minute before going to sort his things out in your room.

As soon as you were done, you made a beeline to him; sitting next to him on the couch. You turned to him, warming up your hands before you pressed one to his forehead as he looked up at you with tired eyes. You couldn't stop your eyebrows from furrowing. He was already burning up.

"Have you eaten anything today?" You ask, fearful of the answer.

His eyes shifted from yours, looking away. "I uh.. not a whole lot." He tells you honestly.

You glance at the clock. It was close to dinner time. "Okay." You say, pushing yourself up. "Are you achy at all?" He nodded, seeming embarrassed or hesitant. "Where does it hurt?" You ask again.

"It's mostly my lower back right now." He says, voice not sounding any better.

You bend down next to the wall, plugging in the heating pad before raising it to Joseph's line of vision. "That's why I got this. Let's get it laid on you."

After you were done getting that settled and trying to make Joseph more comfortable, he spoke up. "Thanks for doing this. I feel bad for forcing all this mess on you."

"Oh, stop it." You chastise him lightly. "You're not forcing anything on me. You just have to promise me you'll take care of me if I get sick after all this." You joke, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"You know I will." He responded, reaching out with his hand. You held it, squeezing it before heading to the kitchen.

Soup was quick as well as easy to make. You also made tea to go along with it, anything that could soothe your boyfriend's throat.

Once that was done, you poured two bowls of soup and two cups of tea. One of each for both of you. You carefully pulled the coffee table closer to the couch, setting all the things you carried down.

You helped Joseph sit up. Both of you were rather quiet during dinner, letting the tv drone on and watching idly. Once you two got done, you brought the dishes to the sink and left them there, knowing you could wash them later.

"Do you want any medicine?" You ask him, settling back down on the couch.

He hesitated but then shook his head. You were a little concerned but decided to let it slide. "Okay. Just let me know if you do want any. Is there anything else I can do?"

He shook his head again before turning to you. "No. Just... can I cuddle you?"

You smiled softly at him, nodding your head. Within no time, he had scooted up to you, slinging his arms around your midsection and laying his head into your shoulder. You reached up, entangling your fingers in his hair, running them through it calmingly.

At this point you knew you were almost 100% bound to get sick, but you found you didn't care all that much.

Later, you got him settled in your bed. Before you got in next to him, you made sure he had water, that he was warm enough. This time, you held him, being the big spoon; which honestly felt weird. Joseph was usually intent on holding you, but he just didn't feel up to it tonight. It wasn't uncomfortable but it did feel feel a little weird considering you weren’t really big enough to take on the role of Big Spoon.

\------

The first few days were brutal. Joseph got sicker. At first it was the fever rising and the cough getting worse, to Joseph losing his voice. The blonde was miserable and it broke your heart. You were on your feet a lot, giving him whatever he needed; tea, medicine for the cough and nausea, massages for the aches and pains. You were doing as much as you could to ease his discomfort, as well as snuggled with him and gave him kisses.

On the third night, his second full day with you, he had bolted out of bed in the middle of the night, rushing to the bathroom to throw up. You followed him, bringing him water and rubbing his back soothingly.

"You alright? Is there anything I can do?" You asked, after it seemed to subside.

He nodded, slumping down. "Yeah. Um... actually. Can you just... leave me alone for a couple of minutes?"

The request caught you off guard. You pressed your lips together in a thin line. Were you being too smothering?

You forced the anxious thoughts back and stepped away. They didn't matter. You'd do as he asked. "Yeah. Just... come back to the bedroom when you're ready. Or call for me if you need me."

You slipped out of the bathroom, heading back into the bedroom. You changed your t-shirt seeing that you'd gotten a little bit of vomit on it, which honestly didn't bother you. Amanda had thrown up on you more than once or twice in her lifetime. Then you just got back in bed on your side, closing your eyes.

It was futile, obviously you couldn't sleep due to worry, but you stayed put. After about fifteen minutes, the door creaked open. You flinched against the light, cracking open your eyes. "Better?" You ask.  
Joseph nods, walking around the bed. You felt the bed dip on the other side, then shuffling of the sheets.

Then there was a pause, a hand reaching out to clutch your shoulder, pulling slightly. You knew that signal. He wanted you to turn and face him, so you obliged, flipping over.

Then there were arms around you, pulling you tightly into Joseph's chest. You rested your head there, hearing a steady heartbeat. "Sorry." He says, voice rumbling.

You take pause. "What are you sorry for?"

"Pushing you away, just then." The blonde replies.

"What? No need. Everyone needs their own space, especially during times like this."

He blinked at you, facial expression turning a little softer. "I love you." He told you.

"I know." Your tone was light, a little teasing. "I love you, too."

There was a weak hum that came from your partner before he leaned back, planting a soft kiss on your lips. You could taste mint toothpaste in it.

There was another day of full-fledged sickness, but then Joseph started to get better. He was alert, he was getting closer to his normal temperature and his voice was coming back. The coughing fits came farther apart in time, and there was no more vomiting.

On the sixth day, he was really getting back to himself. Meanwhile you felt more tired than usual and were a bit achy, but you just figured it was from rushing around all week. Right? That was all it was.

The next morning, Joseph woke up first. He sat up, stretching. You woke with him, but much more slowly. You were tired, your head hurt and you were strangely cold. When you tried to swallow, it felt like swallowing nails. Oh no. The sickness had gotten you, hadn't it?

You whined in discomfort, already knowing what was to come. Joseph turned to you with concerned eyes. "Sweetheart?"

You tiredly blinked up at him. He reached out to cradle your face, then took a sharp intake of breath, hand moving to your forehead.

"(D/N)... I think you have a fever." He said, dismay clear in his tone. You let out another whine alongside a shiver.

It wasn't long before he was back down in the sheets, pulling you against him again. "Baaaaby," He started, dragging out the pet-name. "You're sick. It's not going to be fun but I'll be here with you all the way through it, okay?"

Instead of replying with words, you just nuzzled into the spot between his shoulder and neck. He reached out to grab his phone, typing out a text as he held you, rubbing at your back.

 **Joseph, to Mary:** Hi, honey. So you know how I was feeling better yesterday? I think I've recovered almost all the way, but I got (D/N) sick.

 **Mary:** Saw that coming. Take good care of him my dear. He deserves it. Everything's okay at both the church and the house right now, so don't worry about me or the kids. We're all fine.

 **Joseph:** Okay good. I'll do my best to look after him just as well as he did for me. It might be about a week before he's better. Love you.

 **Mary:** I might stop by a little later to check on both of you. He's not that sick yet and you're almost completely better. Best time to stop by now. I'll just have to make sure I don't touch anything and don't breathe in too hard.

 **Mary:** Also I love you too.

Joseph put his phone down on the side table again, looking back at you. He brushed your hair back with his hand, kissing your forehead. He was beyond grateful for you helping bring him back to health. He also felt bad, you spent all week looking after him and now you were about to go through the same thing he just did. It wasn't fun.

So, he'd treat you like you'd treated him. With a lot of soup, tea, and the best kind of medicine - kisses and cuddles.

Just like Joseph, it had taken you a week to recover. At the end of your recovery period, there was a bit of a celebratory _treat_ for the both of you. It was only natural, you'd spent two weeks together, rather intimately. Now that you were both feeling better, well... one thing leads to another.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

After months of insisting from Amanda, you'd done it. You got a dog. Well, by dog you meant puppy. But still, the puppy would grow into a dog.

You hadn't gotten him because you were lonely. Far from it, you had a loving partner and four kids that were like your own on top of multiple close friends. You honestly hadn't even been expecting to be bringing a puppy home. You'd been volunteering at the animal shelter with Damien and Mary. A very pregnant dog had come in, chihuahua puppies soon joining the ranks at the animal shelter.

Special care was required of the mom and pups, so you spent a lot of time with them, with one in particular. He had a black and white fur coat. He wasn't the runt of the litter but it soon became clear he had issues with his vision. The vet confirmed your suspicions. This caused him to start falling behind his siblings, the siblings always beating him to their mother, leading him into dropping weight and even falling a bit sick.

The puppy was rather weak and needed a lot of care. He had to be hand-fed a lot of the time, he also couldn't be left alone overnight while he was still so young. So, Damien, Mary and you took shifts. Two nights the puppy was with one of them, one night he was with you.

The puppy got stronger. While he still needed special care due to his semi-blindness, his health was on the rise.

You'd really begun to get attached to the little guy. He was a fighter. So when the eight week mark rolled around, enabling the puppies to be put up for adoption, you knew you couldn't let him go.

So, the day the puppies became adoptable, you slipped back to where the puppies were being held, plucked him up gently and marched straight to the front desk, meeting Mary there with a determined gaze.

"Mary. I want to keep this one." You announce.

She blinks at you for a moment, seeming unfazed by the statement. Then there's a small smirk as she slides the adoption form your way. She had already known that nothing could separate you from that pup.

So just like that, you were the proud dad of a puppy named Jack. You already had everything you would need at home because you'd been caring for him for weeks.

As soon as you were home, you took a picture and sent it off to Amanda.

 **You:** So remember that little pup I've been taking care of? I'm keeping him. Say hello to our dog, Manda Panda! His name is Jack.

 **Amanda:** A DOG!!! That's it, I'm getting in the car and coming home. Be there in 14 hours!

 **You:** Great, I miss my girl. Wait, don't you have a test tomorrow?

 **Amanda:** Dogs are much more important than tests.

 **You:**...

 **Amanda:** Ugh, okay, fine. But you better send me lots of pictures and videos until I can meet Jack in person.

 **You:** You know it, Manda. Love you kiddo.

 **Amanda:** Love you too, dad. And Jack.

You smiled. You could truly see that girl having ten dogs in her future.

Joseph was surprised when he came over that evening, being greeted at the door by you with a puppy in your arms. He leaned forward a little to kiss you before his eyes went down to Jack. "I thought today was the day the puppies go up for adoption?" He asked, confusion in his tone.

You nod. "It was. But to be honest, I got really attached to Jack and I knew I couldn't watch him go away with someone else. So, spur of the moment, I adopted him. Jack's my dog now."

Everything seemed fine at first. Your night with Joseph was like it usually was, pleasant and comfortable. Although you did have to break yourself out of your cuddling position a few times to try to get Jack to pee outside---you were starting housebreaking immediately. But there were no issues. Joseph sat on your left as you leaned into him, his arm around you while you held Jack in your lap.

Things started to go a bit downhill over the next few weeks. Jack went with you to most places. To barbecues so he could be social and get used to other dogs---other dogs being Betsy and Maxwell, to the animal shelter when you volunteered, to work. Jack was getting a lot of your attention. To put it in layman's terms, you were becoming a little bit of a Crazy Dog Dad. Just a little bit.

Joseph, however, acted a bit off whenever Jack was in the picture. He was almost standoffish in a way, which you genuinely didn't understand. You doubted he was scared of Jack, Jack was a friendly dog who was both very tiny and took to people quickly. Joseph also wasn't allergic to dogs. So what was it? You hoped nothing was wrong.

What the issue was finally dawned on you one night when Joseph was staying the night. It'd been a little while since he had, so he wasn't used to you sharing the bed with Jack too. As you got settled into bed, he threw a glance to Jack. "He shares the bed too?" He asks. His voice wasn't unkind, just questioning.

You pet the puppy's head, who gave a happy yip in response. "Sometimes. Why?"

"Sometimes? Where does he sleep when he's not in the bed?" The blonde asks, cocking his head a little to the side.

"Oh, next to me. There's a little bed on the floor here with a blanket. He's usually comfortable there too."

Joseph gave a slight nod. "Oh, I must've missed that." There was a pause. "... Um, would you mind settling him on his bed tonight?" He asks, kind of quietly. You look at him quizzically. "It's just that I--- um. I'm worried that if I snuggle you, I'll accidentally lay on top of him or something. Or we'll crush him in between us. He's a little guy."

That explanation sounded fake, but you nod anyway. "...Okay. Yeah, sure. Just give me a minute here."

As you get down on the ground to tuck Jack in, it hits you. Joseph's been weird about Jack. Not mean, nothing near it, but definitely weird. You'd been giving a lot of your attention to Jack, including attention that's usually reserved for Joseph. Joseph probably isn't used to you giving attention to anything other than Amanda when you spend time together. Your boyfriend was jealous.

You sit up from the ground to look at him from where he lied in bed. "Joseph." You say, smirk already twisting at your lips. He blinked at you, humming to ask, "what?"

"Are you jealous of my dog?" You ask bluntly.

"I, what!? No. That's ridiculous." The blonde tells you, but you've been with him long enough to recognize both when he's lying and when he's a little insecure.

But you can't help yourself. You laugh. "You're lying, you're jealous of Jack." You say, still laughing. Joseph seems offended at the notion, but does a good job at covering it up. He also doesn't tell you you're wrong. You push yourself up from the ground, sliding into bed next to him. "Honey, why? Jack's a dog, it's not like he's a man trying to steal me from you."

Your boyfriend stays quiet, not sure how to go about the answer. You were getting a little concerned. Was something else wrong? You were getting major insecurity vibes from this. "Is it because of how much attention I give him? Because, Joseph... I love Jack, but it's a paternal kind of love. He's a dog. I love a lot of things and people. But I'm _in_ love with you, _only_ you.I'll never love someone else like I love you." You tell him, wrapping your arms all the way around your boyfriend.

You hear the blonde give an audible swallow before he starts speaking. His voice sounds a little strained. "I'm not jealous of the dog. I get worried sometimes, though."

You look up at him. "About what?"

"About... it's ridiculous. But when you spend a lot of time and energy on something else, sometimes I feel like I fade away, almost. I know it's ridiculous. But I don't want you to spend all your time and energy on me either! I don't want your life to revolve around me, I don't want to control you like that. But... I also don't want you to move on from me. I love you, too much for my own good." He says, his voice dropping in volume towards the end.

You feel a pull at your chest. How long has this been an issue? Has it been underlying this whole time? You reach up, holding the blonde's face in your hand as you lovingly rub your thumb over his cheek. "Oh, Joe..." You sit up, not letting go of him. You know that the years of having a strained marriage had damaged him, but you didn't realize it was affecting him this much. You immediately felt guilty.

You thought carefully about the words you use to comfort him. "Let me tell you something." You start, interlocking your fingers with his. "When I lost Alex, I was devastated. It's like my entire world was crushed and I thought that I'd never be able to love anyone ever again except for my daughter. But I was wrong, Joe. Because I was lucky enough to find you. I found you, and maybe I fell too fast, but I will never, ever regret that. You are it for me. If I ever lose you, there will never be anyone else." You pause to wipe away tears that had fallen on his face during your speech, feeling your own forming. "Sweetheart, I'm not good with words. But there's this feeling that only shows up when you know you're going to love someone for the rest of your life. Whenever I'm with you, whenever I even think about you. Even when somebody just brings up your name, I get it. I get that feeling and I know I'm forever locked in. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."

Joseph is quiet for just a moment, eyes roaming over your face, which now has tears rolling down it as well. Then, he laughs. He laughs and brings his arms completely around you, pulling you to his chest and holding you there. He squeezes, not enough to hurt you, but you think that even if he let go you'd still feel it. "Forever." The blonde says, voice still breathy from the laughter. "Forever." He repeats. "I'm not letting you go."

You laugh too. You're happy, and by the look and sound of it, he is too. You spend a bit of time awake in bed after that, sharing kisses and cuddles which turned into something much less PG when he rolled on top of you, pressing you down into the mattress. Regardless, it still ended in cuddling and sleepy smiles. You were gonna be alright, you two.


	4. The Grande Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title inspired by the Studio Killers' song called Grande Finale :)  
> So we made it to the last chapter!  
> Sorry this last chapter took almost a month to get up. I had to finish the ending of the chapter but things kept getting in the way. I started working, fixing my sleep schedule, and the Holiday Season. It got me real tied up. Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!  
> I'm honestly kind of sad to be done with this fic. I started working on it in September, and it's the longest fic I've written in ages. I still can't believe it grew to be 40,000 words considering it was supposed to be just a one-shot that was about 3,000 words maximum. But oh well, I think it's turned into a beautiful thing and I'm so proud of it. I hope those who have read it think so too. Thanks for making it this far! Pleasure to have you on this fic journey.  
> Also, if you'd like to see other stuff from me, my everything tumblr is angry-fandom-mom, my multifandom tumblr where I just post stuff I make for my many fandoms is the-fandom-house and if you're interested in Stranger Things and ship Byler, I have a Byler tumblr/instagram. Instagram is _bylerarmy_ and the tumblr is just bylerarmy. :)

You had a date for tomorrow evening lined up, the difference in this one being that it'd be the three of you. It didn't seem that strange on the surface, you'd done it before a couple of times, but it seemed this one had something important underlying in it. It almost made you nervous. You weren't going out, instead spending the evening at Joseph and Mary's.

You were texting Amanda, counting down the minutes. You told her that you were feeling a little nervous, but she told you not to worry too much, that it was likely to go fine. You knew she was probably right. Whatever happened, it would be fine.

You were freshly showered, dressed up a bit. Nothing too fancy, but dressy-casual. Again, you go over your hygiene rituals twice in precautionary measures. Then, you headed out the door just in time to avoid being late.

The night seemed rather normal in the beginning. The three of you had started the night by lounging around in the living room, reminiscent of the night you'd spent here a few months back. You were messing around, having fun, but both Mary and Joseph were being rather limited on their drinks, keeping it to one glass. So you followed suit at their pace. There was music playing, Joseph pulling you up to sway with him while Mary laughed at you from her spot on the couch. Now that you were here, you weren’t sure why you'd been so nervous to begin with.

Things started to change when dinner came around. Mary stayed relaxed, but Joseph seemed a bit nervous. You noticed him stumbling over his words a couple of times, his leg bouncing in what seemed like anticipation. You hoped nothing was wrong. You reached across the table to take his hand in yours, squeezing gently as a form of reassurance. "You okay, Joe?"

He seemed to relax a little as his gaze took you in. He nodded, smiling this time with one that met his eyes.

It wasn't long before you figured out he was so nervous. Mary was the one to cut to the chase. The three of you had just finished up eating when she leaned back in her chair, looking straight at you. "Okay, sailor. I think Joseph might explode if him and I don't tell you this."

You raise an eyebrow.

She sets her glass down on the table, propping her face up with her hand. "Listen, kid. Joseph and I have been talking---" She pauses upon seeing the worry on your face. "Oh relax. I'm not telling you that Joseph and I are divorcing or that you have to stop being with Joseph. Quite the opposite, actually."

_Wait, what?_

"I know we had a rough start, you and I, even for you and Joseph. But we've come a long way since then. You've been together for a year and a half. Over that time, you've become like part of the family. Don't give me that look, we've been through this. Our toddler is literally calling you 'dada' and the amount of times Christie has 'accidentally' called you dad---anyway. I know you've taken to the kids as much as you've taken to Joseph. Plus, Joseph and I love Amanda like she's our own."

Joseph still looked nervous, one hand in yours and one hand in Mary's. You, on the other hand were immensely confused. All that Mary was saying was true, you knew it. You and Amanda had joined with the Christiansens to make an imperfectly perfect Brady Bunch. But you weren't sure why she was bringing it up.

She takes a breath after her tangent. "Okay I'm gonna try to cut to the chase here. Joseph and I have been talking about this for a while. We think it's kinda silly for him to be going back and forth between houses when we have extra room here. There's enough space for Amanda to be able to have her own room when she comes to visit from college, and you already know our bed is big enough to accommodate all three of us."

You blink, very slowly registering what she's saying. Joseph speaks up this time. "(D/N), I love you and I love the idea of you and Amanda fully becoming a part of our family. I understand if it's too much for you right now, but... what we're asking is if you'd want to move in with us?"

You're stunned. You’re quiet for a moment, but you rub your thumb across the back of Joseph's hand as a form of reassurance that you weren't immediately about to turn him down. Though you're still kind of in shock, emotions are starting to rise up. You can't believe that they are really asking you this.

"I don't know what to say." You start, swallowing. "First off, I love you. Both of you, actually, although in different ways."

Mary looked a little surprised at the declaration but then rolled her eyes in good spirits. "Obviously, kid. You've made it clear that you're very much gay. But for the record, the sentiments are returned."

"Glad to hear it." You shoot back, shuffling in your seat. "Secondly... that's a lot to take in. But I love the picture of it. So I'm saying yes. But there is... so much to do. First off I'd have to talk with Amanda, second off what about my house and all my stuff? Oh and then there's the situation of taxes and----" You start rattling off.

"Honey, honey! Slow down. We don't have to do everything in one day." He says, laughing. But it looks like he's crying.

"Joseph are you okay?" You ask, concern coming out of the storm of emotions you feel. To be honest, you're surprised you haven't started crying yourself. He nods immediately. "Oh yes. I'm much better than okay." He stands up, pulling you with him so he can properly hug you, cradling you against his chest. "I'm happy."

You breathe easy. "Me too."

Then your eyes shift to Mary. She raises her eyebrows, knowing what your intention is. She jokingly shrinks back. "Oh no kid. I've already been vulnerable enough today and I hugged you only a week ago. I'm at my limit."

You slowly step forward anyway, knowing she was joking but still measuring how she was going to actually react. She rolls her eyes again. "Okay, okay. I'll stretch the limit but only this once."

Smiling again, you rush in to hug her. In the summer of 2017, you never thought you'd be here. This was a _huge_ step, basically the biggest step you could take in your relationship. You knew that your relationship with Joseph would continue to grow even after you've officially moved in, but this was an ultimate seal. You couldn't get married for obvious reasons, but you didn't mind that. As long as you loved each other, that was all you could ask for.

The entire night you were on a high from the oxytocin and dopamine flooding your brain. Joseph seemed to be feeling the same effect, his nervousness completely disappearing. He was laughing louder, smiling brighter. He was also a little more handsy than usual, constantly touching either you or Mary. A hand on the small of your back here, a kiss to her temple there.

You also wound up staying the night. The three of you had retreated back into the living room after cleaning up in the kitchen, sprawling out on the sofas and talking about how you were going to start this process, about telling the Christiansen kids, about talking to Amanda. Of course, that wasn't all you talked about, there was some joking around tucked in there. You'd run back to your house for just a minute to grab Jack, letting him out to pee and bringing him over to Joseph's, not wanting to leave the puppy by himself for too long.

As the time ticked by, you'd landed on the idea of ending the night with a movie. You weren't sure what the movie was actually titled, but set back in the medieval ages, this young girl inheriting the crown of the Emperor without even knowing he had been her real father. You also weren't quite sure of how the movie ended, because towards the ending you had started to doze off. A dad's greatest challenge: staying awake an entire movie. But how could you be blamed for falling asleep when you were tucked up against Joseph's side, securely being held with a blanket draped across your lap? Your boyfriend made for a very comfortable pillow, you'd discovered.

So you wound up falling asleep on him. You'd done it before, and you'd done it again. Now you were being gently shaken awake; a warm, gentle presence hovering above you. "(D/N), wake up."

You made a noise of protest. "Five more minutes...." You go to slump further against Joseph, but in your mostly asleep state you'd failed to recognize that he was the one who was above you.

The blonde's laugh sunk into your ears. "Sweetheart, it's bedtime. You should sleep in a bed, not on the couch. Come on."

Finally, you opened your eyes to meet soft blue ones. You immediately felt a smile cross over your sleepy expression, completely out of your control. You really loved this man. Reading your mind, he leaned down to connect his lips to yours for a moment. Your hands hover on him for a moment before you shake your head, trying to clear the sleep from it. Blinking, you looked around the room. "Do you know where I left my coat?"

Joseph looked confused. "I think it might be in the kitchen? I'm not sure. We can just find it in the morning."

"Awe, but it's cold outside." You protest.

"What?" Joseph responds, not sure why you were bringing up the outside before it clicked. "Oh, honey. I thought you would've wanted to spend the night here."

"Oh! Oh. You and Mary wouldn't mind?" You ask, still confused in your sleepy haze.

The blonde shook his head immediately, closing his hand around yours. "Of course not. (D/N), we asked you to move in with us only a few hours ago. Why would we ask if I didn't want to share the bed with you? We won't have you sleeping on the couch, silly."

You go to respond, cover your embarrassment with the excuse that you were tired, but a large yawn proved that instead. Joseph just chucked. "Case in point. Come on, let's get you upstairs."

He leads you by the hand, you have to watch your feet to make sure you don't stumble in the dark. You grab Jack from where he's curled up on the couch as you pass him. Once you reach the bedroom, you see Mary in the connected bathroom, changed into pajamas and brushing her teeth. She waves at you with her free hand.

What should you do next? Your question was answered as a cotton long sleeved t-shirt was carefully placed in your empty hands. It was light, warm enough so you wouldn't freeze but thin enough so that you wouldn't be sweating. You shoot an appreciative smile at your boyfriend. "Thanks."

He hums, kissing your cheek before heading into the bathroom after Mary exits. You patiently wait your turn to slip in there. Once you do, you use the toothbrush you'd used the last time, doing the rest of your business, folding your pants to grab tomorrow. You then stop to check yourself in the mirror, fluffing up your hair self-consciously.

Then, with nothing left to do, you head back into the bedroom, shutting off the bathroom light. You don't hesitate as much this time to get into the bed, letting Joseph pull you against him as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. Immediately, all tension in your body relaxed.

You woke up the next morning to a hand rubbing at your back to coax you awake, bedhead swimming in your vision and a kiss only a moment after you'd opened your eyes. You felt a wide smile adorning your face in your barely awake haze. You were beyond happy that you could get used to this.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

Your final decision had been made. You'd talked it over with Amanda soon after Joseph and Mary had asked you.

 **You:** Hey Manda, are you free soon to video chat? I have something important to talk to you about.

 **Amanda:** Hey pops. Can you give me about two hours? I've just got some homework that I need to finish. Is everything alright?

 **You:** Yep! I think it's rather good news but it is important and I want to talk to you about it before I make my final decision.

 **Amanda:** Okay, pops. Had to make sure I didn't need to come down there to mess someone up.

So a little over two hours later, you're sitting across from Amanda through a digital screen. Not as good as seeing her in person, but it got the job done.

"Hey Pops. What's happenin’?" She asks immediately, smiling brightly.

"Hey kiddo. So I guess I should probably cut to the chase... Joseph and Mary asked me if we would move in with them." You tell her. You're nervous about her reaction, but just thinking about it makes your heart skip a beat.

"Oh!" She looks a little shocked, her eyebrows raised on her face.

"I was just as surprised as you are to hear it. But they assured me that there's plenty of space for you and I, enough that you can have your own room. Joseph even showed me the room himself. Of course, the move won't be immediate. There's a lot to do before we get there."

Amanda presses her lips together. "Hm. That's... a lot to take in. But overall, I have one single question for you. Do you think it will make you happy, dad?"

Your quiet for just a moment, thinking about the question. "I really think it would. I'm happy now, Panda. But as time goes on, I become happier and happier. To have all my family under one roof... I just wish you were home with us more often."

Amanda smiles. "Well, then, dad. I say go for it. As long as there's space for me to come home and see you, I have no quarrels with it. It's probably gonna feel weird at first, but I'll get used to it. I want you to be happy."

Oh no. You felt your throat tightening up, you were going to cry again. How did you manage to raise Amanda into such a good person? Maybe that was Alex shining through her.

"Thank you, Amanda. I miss you a lot, you know that kid?"

Your daughter laughs. "Yeah, dad, I know. I miss you too."

\-----------------

So you'd begun the process. It wasn't that big of a deal, you were only moving next door, but at the same time, it was a big deal. When you'd shared with Joseph that you'd made the final decision to move in with him, he'd held you so tightly you felt as though you might become permanently attached to his body. Not that it would be so bad if you did.

While you and Joseph were working on the moving process together, you were still doing other stuff. In fact, you were taking two days off, Wednesday and Thursday this upcoming week. Why? Joseph and Mary had planned a short family trip to Six Flags. They would've scheduled it for the weekend, but Joseph had sermons on Sunday, something he did everything in his power to never miss.

About two weeks before the trip was actually supposed to take place, you'd stopped over there and Mary had announced it, plopping down on the couch next to you. "Hey kid, clear your schedule on the first Wednesday and Thursday of next month."

You turn your head to the side to look at her confused. Joseph is the one to fill in the gaps. "We're taking a little trip to Six Flags with the kids. We uh, already got tickets for you too."

You go to open your mouth but another voice fills the air. "No getting out of it, sailor. It'll be fun!" 

"Well, I wouldn't have said no either way. But I could've payed for my ticket myself if you'd asked." You try, feeling a little embarrassed.

Joseph shakes his head. "Nonsense." He soothes, then gets a mischievous glint in his eyes; coming over to hold you by the hips. "If you're that worried about it, you could just cover the next date we go on~" He purred into your ear. It gave you a thrill hearing the low sound of his voice, hinting that there were other _implications_ behind the tone.

You smile, resting a hand on his chest. "Sounds like a deal."

Two weeks later, you were tucked into a minivan with two other adults and four children. Being completely honest, you were a little nervous for the park... you and theme park rides never mixed well. But the point of going out there was to have fun, so you were determined to do so.

The group of you had arrived on Tuesday night, driving down after Chris, Christie and Christian got out from school. The two hotel rooms were nice, jointed together but with a door in between them. You kept the door open so the children could come and go as they pleased. Christie and Christian claimed the extra bed in your room, the twins had grown the most attached to you over the time you'd been a part of their family.

Then came the fun part, actually going to the parks. The morning of, everyone was up bright and early; the kids pumped full of energy that you had no idea where it came from. Part of you was worried they'd gotten into the hotel's coffee. You were keeping a careful eye on Crish, that toddler could get into trouble quickly if left unsupervised.

After everyone was dressed, sunscreen applied, and had eaten breakfast, you and your family headed off. Immediately after getting past the entrance, the kids were ready to go in all different directions. Keeping all four of them wrangled was a task all in itself.

The day was relatively easy to get through; the slower, kid-friendly rides you were willing to ride with no hesitation, and anytime one of the scarier ones came up you were able to dodge it by saying you'd watch after Crish. You'd also been taking pictures all day, sending some to Amanda per her request.

 **Amanda:** Aw, you guys look cute! You go on any rides for once, dad?

 **You:** Only the gentle ones. Those roller coaster death machines won't be getting me in their trap today!

 **Amanda:** Okay, first of all, roller coasters aren't death traps, they're fast-paced fun tracks. Secondly, I'm impressed that you're even going on rides! And to think I'm missing it :P

 **You:** Baby steps, Manda. We'll have to take a trip here with you sometime.

Ironically, it turns out that the roller coaster would ensnare you in it's death trap later that day. You'd done a good job at dodging the stomach droppers without being detected, but you were wrong.

As you approached an old white coaster titled 'Thunderbolt', Mary spoke up. "Alright, (D/N), do you wanna ride this one? I think you've had plenty of watching Crish today."

You throw the coaster a nervous glance before quickly declining. "Oh no, that's okay. I'm cool with being the designated picture taker!" You chuckle, passing it off as a joke.

"Honey, you've been skipping out on all the fun rides!" Joseph says next to you, intertwining your fingers and smiling at you, causing that familiar fluttering in your chest. "Will you ride this one with me?" With that, you were done for. You couldn't tell him no. It couldn't be that bad, could it?

As you got closer and closer to the ride in line, your body was deciding that it was actually very bad. You almost wanted to throw up before you even got on. Only Chris was tall enough to go on with you, the twins and Crish going to another ride with Mary. Joseph was clearly excited to be going on with you, as you'd not had a whole lot of time together throughout the day.

However, now that you were getting closer to the ride, your nerves were becoming much more apparent. Your boyfriend picked up on it, analyzing your face for a moment before whispering into your ear, "Sweetheart, are you alright? You look like you're seeing ghosts."

You shift on your feet, almost embarrassed. "I uh... I usually don't do too well with park rides. I'm not sure why, but I've never been good with them."

Joseph's face changed into sympathetic understanding. "Oh. I'm sorry, (D/N), I never would have asked you to come on this ride if I had known. Do you wanna get off the line?"

You throw another glance at the ride in front of you--- which was getting loomingly close, then back to Joseph. Well, here goes nothing.

You shake your head no. "Nah, I want to try this one. Just... hold my hand all the way through?" You ask.

The blonde's face lights up. "Baby, you got it."

He kept to his word. Once you were strapped into the coaster cart, he took your hand in his. Chris was seated in front of you, keeping a laid-back attitude.

When the ride jerked to a start, you clung to Joseph's hand in a death grip but he didn't seem to mind. As you went up the first hill, you could feel your stomach sinking lower and lower as you got higher. Your heart was hammering in your chest as you got to the top; then there was a curve before you finally dropped. It zoomed down at a fast pace, making it feel like your stomach fell out.

You managed to keep your eyes open as the ride continued, noticing it wasn't that bad. Still bad, but not as much as you thought. It jerked you around quite a bit but there were instances where it slowed down, giving you a break. You were sure Joseph could hear how you were feeling through your screaming.

The ride finished with a final jerk forward, and you finally let out a steady breath. While you waited to exit, the blonde next to you spoke up. "Well, how do you feel?"

You think about it for a second. "Well, the first part of me is saying that it wasn't so bad. It gave a rush of adrenaline, that's for sure. The other parts of me, however... one is screaming that it was too harsh on my back and the other is that I want to throw up from unnecessary nerves. But uh, it was fun. I couldn't have done it without you, though."

Joseph smiles brightly at you, before he frowns for just a second. "Wait, this ride didn't hurt your back did it?"

You shake your head. "No, not seriously. It was just all that jerking around, I think."

He hums, nodding. The cart finally comes to a stop at it's station, enabling you to get out. Chris seemed hyped up from the adrenaline of the coaster, a rare sight of the quiet boy. Once you were on solid ground, your partner wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you to him. You smiled easily.

The three of you made your way back to Mary, the twins and the baby. It was about four in the afternoon now, the kids making it known that they were getting hungry. So the adults landed on going into a little place called 'Sweet Confections' to grab ice cream. Thankfully, your stomach had settled by then, because you weren't about to pass up on sweets.

Unsurprisingly, most of the kids had gone for chocolate soft serve as well as Mary. Chris being the difference, he'd gone with plain vanilla like you had. You had to hold yourself back from giving a small laugh when Joseph ordered for himself--- strawberry, the ice cream coming out with a pink hue. Predictable, but you adored him anyway.

Due to the size of your group, you'd had to sit at one of the largest tables at the place. Mid-way through your cone, you got a sudden wave of fondness looking at your family. Your group of eight (including Amanda) may be a peculiar one, but as far as you were concerned, it was a perfect one. Although your hair may turn grey one of these days due to going from having one kid to five. It was worth it, though.

Christian and Crish had both managed to make a bit of a mess with their ice cream. Thankfully, Christie hadn't, as she would be the hardest to get clean because of her rambunctious personality. Once everything was cleared up and the kids were (mostly) clean, you headed out again. You'd gotten a little more than a good dozen rides in the three and a half more hours in the park that day before everyone started to tire.

Once in the hotel, you'd helped get the kids ready for bed, the twins once again crashing in your room. You stayed up for a little while longer, texting back and forth with Amanda and trying to make progress on your novel. You didn't get too far though as you were worn out and before long, your favorite blonde made his way through your door, making sure said door stayed open.

Instantly, you smiled at him as he came forward to greet you with a kiss. "Hey."

"Hi. Everything alright?" You ask.

He nods. "Yeah. Just wanted to bunk with you tonight."

You weren't that surprised that he was oscillating between Mary and you. He wasted no time in slipping under the covers next to you, arms encircling your waist and head resting on your shoulder, wrapping you in a warmth that always lulled you to sleep. You knew you were done for.

You closed your book, stretching to toss it on the nightstand before turning in Joseph's arms to return the affections. He ran his hand down your back, asking, "How's your back?" in a teasing tone.

You hum. "Better now. It's no longer screaming at me, it's dulled to a quiet grumbling now." You joke back.

You feel a kiss press into your cheek. "Good. I'm glad you're here, you know?"

"Me too. Even though I experienced once of the scariest events of my life today." You say cheekily.

Your favorite blonde laughed into your ears.

He managed to get you on another coaster the next day.

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

The process of moving was going swimmingly. You were practically living at Joseph's already, spending five out of seven nights there. You were in the midst of shifting through your stuff, deciding what to keep and what to be rid of. You weren't doing it alone, thankfully. Moving once was stressful enough, and you were glad you weren't shouldering it on your own this time, even if it was just going one house over.

Joseph was with you now while you both sorted through your bedroom. You were pulling clothes out of your closet and dresser, going through them. Half of this stuff you didn't wear anymore. Meanwhile Joseph was going through your other furniture, making sure there weren't any objects left that you might want to hold onto.

However, he stopped when he pulled a box out from beneath your bed. "Hey, (D/N), are these photo albums?"

You immediately turn away from your pile of clothes to look in the blonde's direction, to find that he was, in fact, holding the box that you stored the albums in. You nod, smiling fondly. He looks down at the two albums, then back to you, then to the photo albums and back to you. "...Can we... go through them?"

Your eyebrows raise. "You want too?"

He nods. "Yeah. You've told me about your past but.... I dunno, pictures can show even more than words can. I want to see as much of you and your past as I can."

You feel a familiar pull at your heart strings, stepping over to him. "Well, then, let's take a look."

Your partner smiles brightly, and you lead him to the bed. You carefully take the box from him, setting it down on your right before selecting the older one. "This one is mostly pictures of me growing up." You explain, sidling up to him so you can stretch the book across both your laps. He nods, looking down in interest.

First up, of course, were baby pictures. You felt your face grow red at the bath-tub pictures, the ones parents seemed to always take of their babies. Then you reached toddler photos. There was a recurring theme in the photos, it was usually just you with your grandparents or your mother. You finally came across a picture with your father. You were maybe two or three in the photograph. You were sat in his lap, your dad having a lose hold on you with a stoic expression. Just as you remember him. "And that's my dad." You explained, placing your finger on the photo for a second.

"He seems... impassive." Joseph says gently.

"That's my father, alright." You agree. The blonde next to you wraps his arm around you, squeezing just a little in support. You'd told Joseph about your rocky relationship with your dad, and he knew it was a bit of a sore subject.

You sigh, laying your head against his shoulder, continuing on. You smile at certain pictures, groan in embarrassment at others. Especially the ones from your teenage years. Then, you hit college age photos. You can't help yourself from laughing when you see the first picture of yourself and Craig. You both looked different then, but recognizable. Craig, however, had the more drastic changes since college.

Joseph looks like he's in disbelief. "Is that...?"

You nod through your laughter. "Craig? Yes, yes it is." You slide the photo out from the page, taking a look at the skinny skater-boy. He'd come a long way since then. "I have to show this to him later." You say, placing the photo aside.

You keep flipping through it, finding pictures of yourself, Craig, and other friends who you lost touch with. Then, you freeze at the last two pages. Pictures of yourself and Alex.

Joseph glances at you, waiting until you're ready to speak. "This is Alex. I met him in college." You say softly after a minute. "The next album is mostly just me, him, and Amanda."

Joseph switches his grip on you, shifting it so he can rub your back comfortingly. "Do you want to stop? Or do you want to go through the other album?"

You shake your head. "No, let's go through it. I like seeing the pictures."

So, you pull out the next album and start going through it. As you go through the pictures of Amanda growing up, you laugh at some, missing her. You send her a text.

 **You:** I'm showing Joseph the photo album of you growing up.

 **Amanda:** Is it your life goal to embarrass me all the time? Because it seems like it.

 **You:** Amanda, that shouldn't be a question. I am your dad.

 **Amanda:** Fair.

You flip all the way through it. It elicits a bittersweet feeling out of you.

Once you reach the ending, Joseph asks you if you're okay as you've gone a little quiet.

You nod. "Yeah... I'm okay."

He hums. "Alex seemed like he was a great husband, as well as a great father."

You nod again. "He was. I miss him everyday but... I know that he's watching over Amanda and I, and that he would be happy to see how happy I am today with you and our family." You pause to try and swallow down the tears that are forming in your throat. "I am beyond glad we moved to this neighborhood. There was some sort of force pulling me here, I think, so I could find you. As cheesy as I'm about to sound, you were some sort of a miracle for me."

Joseph looks at you with an expression of what you can only describe as wholly loving before he gathers you up in his arms, pulling you into his chest, enabling you to tuck your head up under his chin. "Even though we had a rough start?" He asks, and you almost frown. You knew, deep down, he still felt guilty for leaving you.

"That doesn't matter now. It turned out okay, didn't it? I'm here with you, and we're happy." You take a second. "I love you."

He pulls back just enough to leave a kiss against your forehead. "I know. I love you, too."

|☆|☆|☆|☆|☆|

You'd done it, you were officially living in the Christiansen household, full-time. It was now the "Christiansen-(D/L/N) household", as Joseph had exclaimed. You'd considered changing your last name to Christiansen, but in Massachusetts you'd need to be married or receive a court order to do so. Besides, while you liked the idea of sharing a name with Joseph, you also didn't want to lose Alex's last name nor differ from Amanda's.

So there you stand with Amanda in the hallway of the upstairs, in front of a closed door. She'd finally met Jack, and currently had him held in her arms. She hadn't put the pup down since their first meeting. Christmas was only a week away, she'd come down for winter break, and was off for a month. You were happy your girl was home.

"Well, miss Amanda, welcome to your new room!" Joseph said ecstatically, swinging the door open for her. You'd both decorated it for her. You'd started by painting the walls a deep purple, similar to her old bedroom, and stringing fairy lights up on the walls. Her bed was made up in the middle of the room, desk across from it. Shelves had her more personal items placed on top. You'd left other things such as her posters in a box for her to decide where to put them.

You watch your daughter's face light up as she steps into the room, analyzing it. "This looks great! You guys did this?"

You nod, smiling back at her. She engulfs you in a ferocious hug, then turns and gives Joseph one of the same intensity, seeming to take him by surprise. You smile at him as he throws a thrilled glance your way. You were close with his kids, to the point where they viewed you as a third parent, and you had no doubt Joseph wanted to have the same bond with Amanda.

\-------------

It'd been a couple of days since Amanda had gotten home. In those days, you'd had a classic Manda-dad binge watch session with a lot of junk food involved, gone out to view Christmas light displays, had gone shopping with her at Maple Bay Mall. Amanda had even gone around to visit the neighbors, mostly hanging out with Lucien, Daisy and Carmensita. Right now you were at home, in the midst of another binge watching session. However she was currently in the kitchen, Joseph had stopped her for a bit of a chat. You could hear them speaking in hushed voices, but you tried your best not to listen to what they were saying. It wasn't your business, probably.

But then you hear Amanda laugh before she emerges from the kitchen, bag of chips in-hand. "Hey Pops, you might wanna go check on your boyfriend."

You cock your head to the side in confusion (and slight worry), pushing yourself to your feet. You only have to walk a few steps to reach the kitchen, in which you find Joseph leaning back on the counter, hand over his mouth and tears forming at his eyes. Your concern immediately kicks in as you rush over to him. "Joe, baby, what's wrong?"

He shakes his head, removing his hand from his mouth. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Amanda... she just... she just called me dad."

You're surprised too, but happy. "Joseph! Honey, that's great." You tell him, moving forward to hug him. He laughs when you do.

"I can't believe I have a fifth child." He comments after a minute. You laugh at that. "Ironically, she's the oldest of our five." You remark. "Our family is an unlikely bunch."

"Maybe so, but we're the best bunch I could ever ask for. I've never been happier." Joseph says earnestly, squeezing you tightly against his chest before letting go. It turns out that he'd let go of you only to grab your face so he could tilt it upwards, perfectly slotting his mouth against yours in a celebratory kiss.

\---------------

It was Christmas Eve, you'd slipped out of the house with Joseph to grab a couple last minute gifts, as well as last minute things for the Christmas Party you'd be hosting tomorrow. Joseph was internally stressing out about a gift for Amanda, he tried to play it off as not a big deal, but you knew it was for him. It was your first Christmas as an officially blended family, after all.

You'd already gotten most of your daughter's gifts wrapped up and ready. There was some new camera equipment, art supplies, band merchandise, warm clothing for the upcoming winter months, and a plush dog that had an uncanny resemblance to Jack waiting for her on Christmas morning. You'd also gotten gits for your other children, which admittedly had been a little more difficult than Amanda. Crish was the easiest of the four as he was a toddler; he would be satisfied with simple toys. You'd gotten Christie and Christian customized matching aprons in their size for when they were baking with you and or Joseph. You'd known Christie liked baking before you'd gotten with Joseph, and were surprised to find out Christian liked it too. Chris was by far the most difficult, but thankfully you'd come to the discovery that, like Amanda and yourself, he really adored dogs.

Once you'd started bringing Jack around a lot more often, Chris had really connected with the chihuahua. Jack was a friendly dog who knew when it was okay to get excited, or when to stay calm, which you think helped. You'd done some research, and it turned out dogs were actually a very good presence for people with autism. Ever since Chris started bonding with Jack, he'd taken a large interest in dogs, so much so that Mary would take him to volunteer with the dogs at the shelter.

Thanks to that interest, you'd gotten him a couple of dog-related things, including a pale blue sweater with dogs printed on it, and a golden retriever plush.

Meanwhile, Joseph had struggled to find something for Amanda. You told him it was no big deal, Amanda wouldn't expect anything from him. But Joseph insisted that he wanted to find something personal.

It seemed you were coming close to the end of your shopping trip, both you and Joseph were scrabbling to find something for Amanda. Walking into one of the last stores, he'd found it. He was standing at a glass case when he'd called you over. "(D/N)..."

You made your way to him, looking down into the glass. "Do you think she'd like a charm bracelet? I feel like it's something that'd suit her."

Yes! Why hadn't you thought of it before? A charm bracelet could easily be made into something personal and it would likely fit with Amanda's personal aesthetic. You nod eagerly to him, grabbing at his arm. The blonde smiles brightly at you, before you both turn your attention back to the case.

He'd picked out a simple silver chain to start out with, and you'd helped with charm picking. He selected a camera shaped charm due to her love of photography, while you'd picked a dog paw print and a panda charm.

"Hey, what's Amanda's zodiac sign? Actually... her birthday is at the beginning of April, isn't it?" Joseph asks, looking at a particular section of charms.

You hum in affirmation. "Yep! April 5th. She's an Aries."

He nods. "Okay... so that makes her symbol the Ram." He responds, carefully grabbing a charm of the Ram and putting it with the others.

After a little bit of time, you had a good handful of charms. But on the way to the register, Joseph made a quick stop once another charm caught his eyes. He carefully lifted it in his hand, allowing you to see what it read. It was a rather large heart shaped charm with an engraved message: "I don't have a stepdaughter. I have a daughter who just happened to be born before I met her."

Your partner seemed to like it, but he hesitated. "Do you think Amanda would like this? Or do you think it'd be too much for her?"

You don't really have to stop to think about it. You take Joseph's free hand in yours while you speak. "I think she would really appreciate it. I know you two didn't have the easiest of starts but you go out of your way to make sure she knows that she's loved by you, and I can see Amanda has really warmed up to you. You've been there for her. I mean, she did call you dad the other day."

Joseph still gets a little flustered when you bring that up. Now he knows how you felt when Crish called you da-da.

So, the shopping trip had been a huge success. You two would just have to find a way to sneak the gifts back into the house without any of the kids catching on. Amanda you weren't so worried about, she knew better than to snoop around but this Christmas you were dealing with small children again. You felt pretty bad about leaving Mary alone with four excited kids, but you all knew the trip was necessary.

\-----------------------

It was barely 7 a.m. on Christmas morning when you were woken by the sound of the bedroom door creaking, followed by the pitter-patter of four tiny feet. You knew before you even opened your eyes that it was the twins. Even though you knew, it didn't make it any less scary when you creaked your eyes open to be met with the twins staring at you with half-lidded eyes. Ah, you knew this game. It seemed that they were going for the creepy twin gimmick to try to get you out of bed faster.

However the rouse didn't last very long, as Christie and Christian's faces quickly broke out into excited smiles. "It's Christmas!! Come on, papa! We have to see if Santa came!" The twins were both speaking and it was hard to pick out who was saying what. You weren't sure if Joseph or Mary were awake beside you, but that issue was quickly resolved when your kids decided to clamber on top of the bed. Last night, you'd done your tradition of giving everyone a single gift to open to try to quell the anticipation, but it might have had the reverse affect.

Well, if they weren't awake before, they were definitely awake now. Mary began to shift, and Joseph's eyes squinted open to look down at the twins. "Ah, how did I know? Good morning, kids."

"You mean Merry Christmas, dad!" Christian said. You didn't know if you'd ever seen the twins this excited before, which was saying something with the amount of energy they had on normal days.

The blonde next to you yawns, "Oh yes, of course. Merry Christmas, kiddos."

"When can we go downstairs?" Your youngest daughter asks.

Joseph hums. "Well... I don't think Amanda or your brothers are up yet. We should let them sleep in a little bit longer... how about we go downstairs in a few minutes and start on breakfast?"

The twins agreed quickly, dashing off and down the hall, probably back to their room. You sat up, trying in vain to wake yourself up more. Seeing that you were already awake, Joseph turned to Mary, kissing her cheek to try to bring her to the same state of wakefulness. "Sweetheart, come on. It's Christmas morning. We've got a handful of a day ahead."

After Mary's grunt of affirmation and the opening of her eyes, Joseph turned to you. Like yourself, Mary wasn't really a morning person. You just had a little bit more cheer than usual this morning due to what day it was. Your boyfriend lazily slipped his arms around your waist in a morning greeting. "They do this every year, so you might as well get used to it." Joseph comments tiredly, but you know that there is no venom in his voice as he says it.

You hum in affirmation, you had experienced the same thing with Amanda. "They'll grow out of it eventually. I went through the same thing with Manda. Last year she didn't even get out of bed until 10:30. I won't let her sleep that late this year, though. I don't think we could contain the twins that long."

Joseph laughs softly. "Definitely not."

"We better head downstairs and start on breakfast, before the kids start making havoc." Mary commented, sounding just as tired as she forced herself up. You and Joseph did the same, skipping the usual getting dressed portion of your morning routine. It was Christmas, after all.

You wrangled Christie and Christian while Joseph went to fetch Crish so none of you would have to go back up to get him when he woke. You bring the twins out at the same time as Joseph brings out Crish. He'd managed to scoop the toddler up without waking him, good. You all carefully made your way down the stairs, taking care to try to avoid the living room where the Christmas Tree was set.

Mary, being the saint that she was, had a pot of coffee already brewing once you arrived in the kitchen. While you were waiting on that, you pulled the pancake mix out of the pantry and Joseph got set on making hot cocoa for all. You already knew the drill; coffee first, then hot cocoa.

It wasn't a long process for the morning to pull together. In the few months you'd been living with Joseph and Mary, you'd really nailed a comfortable routine in place. Breakfast was done with practiced ease, the twins happily fed. Apparently the smell of food had woken Crish up, so you got him settled as well. Then you made pancakes for yourself, Joseph and Mary, then set aside extra batter for when Chris and Amanda came downstairs.

About an hour after the twins had woke you up, Chris came creeping down the stairs. At the sight of him, you thought you should probably go wake up the sleeping panda, but Joseph gently grabbed you to stop you. "Let her sleep for a little bit longer. I don't want her to be tired all day."

You nodded, settling back in your chair. Truth was Amanda had probably been up later than the rest of the kids, so she might not be ready to wake up yet. Although she did promise to go to bed earlier than she normally would because the kids would be excited.

So around eight-thirty, you marched back up the stairs to enter her room. You sat on the edge of her bed to run a hand through her bedhead to try to gently coax her awake. Sleepily mumbling, she opened her eyes. "Pops?"

You smiled down at her. "Hey, Panda. It's Christmas morning."

She stretched. "Oh yeah. It is, isn't it?"

You nod. "Yep! I would've waited to wake you up later but the twins are really excited. Chris too, even though he's not showing it as much. You know how young kids are."

She laughs. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be down in a minute dad. I just need to wake up a little."

You kiss her forehead and start walking to the doorway. "I've got a cup of coffee ready for you and I'll put some pancakes on the griddle right now." You say as you exit.

"Bless you!" Your daughter exclaims excitedly.

True to her word, Amanda comes down the stairs only three minutes after you'd left. You had a hot cup of coffee with cream and sugar ready for her, sliding it towards her once she enters the kitchen. "Amanda!" The kids exclaim upon seeing her.

She smiled at them, clearly still half asleep but managing to maintain cheeriness. "Hi, guys! Merry Christmas."

The kids returned the sentiment before chattering away excitedly with her as she scarfed down her breakfast. You leaned back against the counter, hands wrapped around another hot cup of cocoa, gaze roaming over your family. The bright blonde of Chris and the twins popping out first, just like their father. Then Crish, brown eyes focused on the cereal that remained in his height chair. Out of all of Joseph's kids, Crish was definitely the one who took after Mary the most. The toddler contrasted the most with his siblings, brown hair and brown eyes like his mom, but he still had a lot of Joseph in him too.

Then your gaze turned to Amanda, messy hair tied into a usual ponytail, amber eyes crinkling as she laughed at something one of the twins said. Then to Mary, who had placed her third cup of coffee down to go clean Crish's face. You were grateful to know her, you'd learned a lot about her in the past year, and found that underneath the hard exterior she had just been a struggling mom and wife who was trying her best. Thankfully, she was more at peace now.

Finally, your eyes flicked to Joseph, who had come to stand next to you at the counter. Like yourself, he was cradling a cup of cocoa. He switched his hold on the cup so that he could hold it with one hand, using his other arm to wrap it around you. You sighed, leaning into him with your head on his shoulder. A swell of affection for your family rose up in you. Maybe to some people you weren't what was considered a conventional family, but who cared? You were happy, it worked for your family, and when it came down to it you wouldn't want it any other way.

Nine in the morning had just struck when you ushered the kids to the living room. The tree was well-stocked, to the point where gifts were spread far from out the tree. Yourself, Joseph and Mary had spent a good hour last night strategically laying it all out. Amanda looked a little awestruck at it. Well, you weren't surprised, you had felt the same looking at your finished handiwork last night. It was a little surreal, being used to having a Christmas for two then jumping to a Christmas for eight.

You spent most of the morning handing out gifts, while opening a few for yourself. Amanda had gifted you a small scrapbook, filled with photos of yourself and all seven of your family members. You may or may not have cried upon seeing it. 

Joseph's kids seemed to love the gifts you'd picked out for them, which made you happy. Joseph's gift for Amanda was saved for last, the charm bracelet being tucked away in a box that was wrapped. You could sense Joseph holding his breath as Amanda unwrapped it, opening the little jewelry box.

Your daughter carefully took it in her hands, spinning it to take a look at the individual charms. Then, she smiled. "Joseph, this is beautiful."

You watched as she moved forward, hugging your partner and you picked up her whisper. "Thank you, _dad_."

Joseph seemed taken back again. It was only the second time she'd called him that, after all. You couldn't stop the smile from rising onto your face.

The gift process had taken about two hours, which was a jump from the usual thirty minutes it took you and Amanda. Regardless, it was an eventful yet fulfilling morning. Yet the children's excitement still had not been extinguished, as the party was still on for tonight, meaning their friends would be there as well as the likelihood of more gifts.

The next few hours were spent by setting up new camera equipment or new toys. As a dad, setting up equipment, whether that be toys or something else, that was your specialty. With two fathers in the house, the dad energy was on surplus.

The group had settled down for lunch at about one o'clock, a small one to tide you all over. After all, dinner was the main event, but it was still five hours away. Your neighbors were due to arrive at four o'clock, dinner would likely be served between five and six. During the gap time, you'd gotten the kids to settle down to watch a Christmas Story, one of the classics that you'd grown up watching. It'd come out when you were three. Crish was settled down for a nap, which you felt like you could use one yourself. Jack was settled, curled up on your stomach while you kept a lose hold on him just in case he started slipping. Amanda was leaned up against you with Hot Cocoa in her hands, Christian on your other side with the same thing.

You'd barely finished the movie in time. You and the three other adults in the house (including Amanda, which, _wow_ it was weird to think of your firstborn daughter as an adult) had thirty minutes to rush and make final preparations before the doorbell began to ring. You went to answer the door, seeing four people at your doorstep. Damien and Lucien with Brian and Daisy. The two dads were always punctual, you'd never seen them show up late for anything. Same thing with Hugo, unless he was struggling with Ernest. Poor Hugo.

You put on a bright smile, greeting them as brightly as you could before stepping aside to let them in. As soon as Daisy stepped inside, she scanned the living room for just a second before lighting up. "Amanda!"

Your daughter turned at the call of her name and immediately broke out into a smile. "Hey Daisy!" She nearly yelled back, hugging the ten-year-old in greeting. As much as you and Brian had had your differences in the past, the girls had a really cute friendship that made you happy to see.

Holiday music was put on the stereo system, snack bowls and soda bottles put out now that guests were arriving. "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives was currently playing, fancy rainbow LEDS flashing along to the music. You kept an eye on the kids periodically as you helped Joseph and Mary in the kitchen, adding the final touches to dishes and making sure nothing burned.

Craig was the next to arrive with the three of his girls, smiling widely at you as you opened the door to greet him. "Bro! Merry Christmas!" He said, containing even more cheer than he usually had. "Right back at you, buddy!" You wheezed out as he drew you into a hug, ones that had become just a little more on the side of bone crushing since he'd started his whole buff work.

Hugo was, surprisingly, the fourth to arrive, with an even more surprisingly not grumpy Ernest. Maybe the kid had decided to ease up on his "I'm tough and cool" act for the day, because after all, it was Christmas. Or perhaps it was the fact that Duchess Cordelia was right next to him, a festive red holiday bow around her next. Hugo had said that adopting Duchess Cordelia had Ernest tamer than usual. The dog was good for him.

Mat and Carmensita then came to the door almost immediately after Hugo and Ernest had. Like Daisy, Carmensita had quickly sought out Amanda once she was inside. Mat had brought a batch of his amazing Banana Bread Kennedys, which you had gladly helped him name when you'd first met him.

The final guest to arrive was Robert, and surprisingly, his daughter Val. You'd met her before. Robert was working on his relationship with her due to talks with yourself and Mary. Next to Val, was a woman who you'd never met, you were assuming she was Val's girlfriend. "Hey, guys. Welcome!" You greet. Upon further inspection, Robert seemed cleaner than usual, smelled less of smoke and seemed 100% sober. Huh.

You'd surprisingly gotten a hug from Val as she walked in, which took you aback more than the first time Robert asked you to go out drinking with him. You shook hands with the mystery woman, learning that her name was Marie and she was, in fact, Val's girlfriend.

The three made a beeline for Mary once they were inside, Amanda then making a beeline for Val once she saw her. You smiled fondly. That girl seriously looked up to Val.

The festivities were now in full swing. The Christmas music was turned up louder, drinks were being served to the adults. The living room was loud with happy buzz. You were going from guest to guest, making the rounds to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves. You nearly collided with Joseph as you did so, him gladly catching you to hold you steady. Embarrassed, you tried to sort yourself out. You were sure your face was bright red by the time you'd finished, but you'd tried to play it off. Unfortunately, you both had things to attend too, so you couldn't truly stop to talk, so Joseph just kissed your cheek as you parted ways again.

About an hour after everyone had arrived, Christmas dinner had been served. The spread was pretty classic, both a roast and a turkey at the center of the table, followed by a multitude of vegetables and other Christmas delights, such as Cranberry Sauce. You were honestly surprised by how systematic the dinner was, taking into consideration the fact that there were twelve adults (Amanda, Val and Marie included) alongside eleven kids. Despite the number of people in the Christiansen-(D.L/N) household, it wasn't very hectic. Perhaps it was all the years of Christmases spent together before you'd moved into the cul-de-sac. You sometimes wondered what had happened to the person who'd lived in your original house before you had, but you were glad that they'd moved away, as mean as that might sound. Moving into this cul-de-sac had to be one of the best decisions you'd ever made.

After dinner, there was a break in the order to stagger the times between consumption of dinner and dessert. It was better to give time for dinner to digest. The ten minutes directly after dinner were spent trying to decide what Christmas special to put on. You put in your vote of Emmett Otter's Jug-band Christmas. Other votes included Rudolph, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, and a few other classics. You watched with amusement as slight chaos broke out, especially when Brian and Craig, the most competitive in the cul-de-sac, started a heated debate over it. You found yourself laughing quietly to yourself as you watched Mat slowly back away from the conversation, social awkwardness clearly taking over. Poor Mat. 

Eventually a compromise was reached: How the Grinch Stole Christmas would be played first, A Charlie Brown Christmas following after. As the Grinch began to play, you slunk off to check on things in the kitchen. For a while you stayed, helping Mary and Joseph make final preparations for dessert, setting up the coffee makers, scattering cookies on plates, resetting the table... 

You were able to sneak back to the living room just as the Grinch was ending, meaning you made it in time for Charlie Brown to start up. There were no seats left in the living room, seeing as you had a full house, so you just stood in the back. You didn't mind.

However, you had only gotten into the first five minutes of A Charlie Brown Christmas when footsteps came towards you from the kitchen, a familiar hand finding its way to your hip. 

"We'll be all ready to serve dessert once this is over." Joseph said quietly into your ears as to not disturb anyone else. You hum, nodding your head a little while you reached out to return his affections.

"We have some time until then, though. Do you want to take a short walk with me? I already grabbed your coat. I don't think anyone will notice if we slip out for just a few minutes." Joseph's voice had dropped to a whisper, even though you doubted anybody but you could hear him before. It was only then did you notice that Joseph did have your coat draped over his other arm, he himself being wrapped up as well. Why not go?

"I'd love too." You whisper back to him. You let him lead you to the front door, where you shuffle into your coat before heading out into the chilly air, hand in hand. It hadn't snowed for Christmas, but that didn't matter very much to you. It had been a perfect Christmas as it was, white or green. 

As you walked, you noted that the streets were quiet, yet the houses were all lively. Faint music could be heard, but that was about it. Everyone must be inside, enjoying the festivities like you and your family and friends had been. All Christmas decorations were on, creating a beautiful atmosphere of bright, colorful lights from house to house, mixing with the noise of quiet crickets around you to create a comforting feeling. 

You and Joseph chatted idly as you walked, and you vaguely wondered where he was taking you. That curiosity was soon quenched as the local park came into view. Just like the rest of your neighborhood, the park was decorated for Christmas, and was empty. It was beautiful. 

You two took a full lap around the park, admiring the rare moments of silence during such a busy day. You still had some time before you'd have to head back once you were finished, so you headed towards a park gazebo and took a seat. You chatted for a little while, slowly getting closer to each other, both for the shared warmth and for the sake of being close to one another. 

A moment of comfortable silence was broken by a nervous sounding cough from Joseph. You immediately directed your attention to him again. "So, uh... I didn't just bring you out here just to bring you out here. Although spending time alone with you is always wonderful, but uh-- Point is, I have something to give you, something special."

You feel your stomach drop, just a little. You weren't expecting this, whatever this was. 

He nervously coughs again, ceasing your thought process before it could get ahead of itself. "Now this isn't a proposal or anything, seeing as we can't get married because, well, you know our situation." He laughs timidly, with you following suit, suddenly very nervous. "But it's an attempt to symbolize our bond." 

He pauses. "I love Mary and our kids. But even though I had all of that, all that good in my life, it still felt like something was missing. I didn't know if I was ever going to find it, if I was ever going to be fully happy."

He stops for a minute. "You know, when I met Mary for the first time---as ridiculous as this is going to sound--- it was like the entire world stopped for a moment. It was like everything around us went black and quiet except for her and the pounding of my heartbeat. I knew immediately that I was going to marry the woman in front of me, if she wanted me. I'd never experienced anything like it, like I instantly knew I was meant to be with her. Maybe it was my soul recognizing it's mate."

You're confused about the sudden change in pace but listen anyway, trying to quiet the pounding of your own heart in your ears. 

"I fell for her hard and fast. That was years ago, and Mary and I have been married for many of them. I didn't think I would ever experience it again, considering how much I loved her; even though our marriage was beginning to become very strained. And then that empty house next to mine got a new occupant; two new occupants. A man and his daughter." Joseph continues his tale.

You feel yourself smiling, knowing he was talking about yourself and Amanda.

"So I go on over there, just trying be neighborly to introduce myself. The door swings open and my new neighbor appears behind it, and it happens again. All the edges of my vision go black, the only thing I can see is the _very handsome_ man in front of me." Joseph winks at you when he says handsome man, making you snort and blush a little. "My heart starts pounding and I knew I was ultimately doomed."

"I fell for him hard and fast too. I didn't know what to do, I still loved my wife very much and we had four kids, yet I desperately wanted to be with this man, and he clearly wanted to be with me too. What was I supposed to do?" 

Then he drops his loving gaze and smirks suddenly. "I never figured out what to do, because the man and his daughter moved out after only a few months and you and Amanda moved in. So, I just decided to settle for you."

Your jaw drops, dumbfounded at the drag. He's cracking up at your facial expression and you try to fight a smile from your face, even though you're failing. "You know... I'd be offended but that's actually a really good roast. I just got 'dragged', as Amanda says, by a youth pastor. I can't believe this." 

The blonde next to you is cackling at this point, leaning forward with his hands on his knees from the force of it. The laughter is contagious, it bubbles up in your chest and you can't hold it in. You start up too, laughing it out for a moment before you both calmed down. 

He sighs, breathing in after losing his breath, back to seriousness. "I got extremely lucky. Because that man that I fell for happened to be you… not the man I just made up.” He says, and you snort again. He smiles. “But… yeah, I screwed up in the beginning, but because my wife and you are so forgiving and understanding, we managed to work out something that seems to make everyone happy. I don't have that feeling anymore, that something's missing. I couldn't be more content, and I hope you feel that way too. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I got seriously lucky. Most people aren't okay with sharing a significant other, but you and Mary... for both of you, I fell too hard to take it back. I'm glad we could work this thing out."

Joseph's hand slips into his pocket. It comes out with a box, which he opens and hands to you. "As I said before, we obviously can't get married. But the love I feel for you is no less than what I feel for Mary and I want to appreciate our bond. It's one of those promise rings. One's for you, and I'll take the matching one..." 

You have the ring box in your hands, analyzing the ring itself. It's simple, silver with an in engraving inside. The engraving reads: "I promise to always work things through." 

You find yourself tearing up.

"Do you like it?" Your boyfriend asks next to you, and you find yourself opening your mouth to speak but no words come out. Instead you nod, finally finding your voice after a moment. "I love it."

He gently takes the box from you, taking the ring out of the box and then taking your left hand, sliding the ring onto your ringer finger with care. Then you grab for the box, taking the remaining ring and his left ring, repeating Joseph's actions before pulling his hand up to your lips, pressing a loving kiss there. 

You let the hand go but it goes up to your face, finding its place on your cheek to pull you into a proper kiss. It breaks when you both start smiling into it. "I love you." You say immediately after you break apart.

Joseph's smile grows even brighter. "I love you too." He says immediately, arm tightening it's hold at your side. You stay there for a few minutes, reveling in the moment and appreciating one another.

The blonde checks his watch and sighs. "We should probably start heading back. Dessert should be served soon; we'll be missed if we aren't there."

You sigh as well, nodding along knowing it's true. "Alright. Back to the chaos together."

Joseph chuckles, standing up and pulling you up with him. He interlocks your fingers together and you make the walk back to the cul-de-sac. 

Dessert wasn't as chaotic as you'd thought it'd be. You were still surprised by the system the six of your neighbors (Joseph included) had established. You were in even higher spirits for the rest of the night, your partner seemed to be as well.

Then, after you'd said goodbye to everyone, you took a seat on the couch to rest for a moment, exhausted. Amanda plopped down next to you moments later, the first words out of her mouth being: "So, he give you the ring?"

You splutter. "You knew?" 

"Yeah. He talked to me about it a few days ago. He just wanted to check with me, I guess. Your relationship with him is about as serious as it can get. I called him dad at the end of the conversation to freak him out. Although I did mean it." Amanda said, shrugging.

You laugh. You can't help it, you laugh. That's your girl. Once you grow serious again, you speak. "Hey. Thanks for being so supportive and flexible kiddo. I know my relationship with him has brought serious changes to not only my life, but your life as well." 

Amanda shrugs again. "Of course, Pops. Like I've said before, I want you to be happy. Besides, being part of the Christiansen-(L/N) family has been fun. Kinda weird sometimes, but nice." 

You feel affection rush through your chest. You take your daughter under your arm and kiss her forehead, then look around the room. Christie and Christian were on the floor, going through some of the things they'd received. Chris was on the other couch, half passed-out. Then your gaze flitted to the kitchen, where Crish was seated in his highchair again with Mary and Joseph moving around. 

Waves of what you could only call love were hitting you from all directions. You'd done it. Somehow, you'd gotten here, with a full family again. Now, you'd always miss Alex, but you were beyond grateful to have found a second chance. As you get up to go help Joseph and Mary, a single thought keeps reoccurring in your head. _"I'm happy."_


End file.
